“And so it begins, a historic departure, the Voyage of the HMS Bagel, in search of further documentation of this next evolutionary tour de force.”
1. Chronicles: A soldiers life:
I am called Glabix XI or Eleven for short. Being a soldier is not too bad a life. Once the Old Horror, The Queen, may she long live and reign in peace and prosperity, chose her consorts (one of whom was my father) the rest of us were free to go about our business without all that hustling about, preening and fighting for poon-tang so to speak. It takes a lot of pressure off guys. The ladies still have to hang around the nursery and the old Queen waiting for her to sicken so that they can beat each other up to see which one gets laid and takes over running things. Not us guys though, we just keep doing what were doing until one of the ladies wins the fight and in her sex-crazed madness jumps our bones. Then, for the lucky two or three guys it’s an even softer job than being a cop like me. In return for giving it up, so to speak, to the Queen whenever she is in the mood, the consort gets to boss everyone else around just like the Queen.
Most of my days are spent wandering the tunnels searching for things that do not smell right, usually that means there is an intruder to deal with. It is pretty easy stuff really, except when the Old Horror, The Queen, my beloved mother, may her reign be long and glorious, is up and about pushing everyone around for whatever it is that itches her tooth at that moment. If truth be known most of us soldiers are a big and lazy lot, but when the time comes we do our job. Our job…? Well primarily, it is to push out from the tunnels those things that do not smell right. Sometimes when it is something too big and too dangerous to push out, it is the job of one of us soldiers to, well, give ourselves up to be eaten so that the intruder busys itself dining long enough for the rest of us to wall off the tunnel the intruder used to get in. I know it is a thankless job, but someone has to do it.
2.Heterocephalus G awards: Awarded to those who most contribute to paving the way for the rise of The Naked Mole Rat.
Today’s award goes to Kevin DuJan a gay man from Chicago’s Boystown who it is reported claimed in his blog that, because of his opposition to Gay Marriage and support of right-wing politicians such as Sarah Palin, leftist gays are secretly conspiring to deny him dates with “hot twinks” and are poisoning his cocktails at his favorite bar.
(Keep on fighting the good fight Kevin.)
3. H. Glaber fellow travelers:
Rufus (voiced by Nancy Cartwright) is a naked mole-rat, the pet friend, and soul brother of Ron Stoppable in the Wiki (Disney) cartoon Kim Possible (http://kimpossible.wikia.com/wiki/Rufus). Rufus lives almost full-time in Ron’s pocket, and accompanies him everywhere. He is exceptionally intelligent for an animal, but average by human standards, and is capable of limited speech.
In the episode Oh No Yono!, he was the first one to be turned into a statue by Yono the Destroyer.
H. Glaber says, check it out.
1. 2012: Five statistics about today’s America:
1. A staggering 48 percent of all Americans are either considered to be “low-income” or are living in poverty.
2. Back in 1980, less than 30% of all jobs in the United States were low-income jobs. Today, more than 40% of all jobs in the United States are low-income jobs.
3. Electricity bills in the United States have risen faster than the overall rate of inflation for five years in a row.
4. A higher percentage of Americans are living in extreme poverty (6.7%) than has ever been measured before.
5. According to a study that was just released, CEO pay at America’s biggest companies rose by 36.5% in just one recent 12 month period.
2. 1789: The American Constitution was Drafted. What do you think our Founding Fathers were smoking while they wrote it?
“Some of my finest hours have been spent sitting on my back veranda, smoking hemp and observing as far as my eye can see.”
“Make the most of the Indian hemp seed, and sow it everywhere !”
“Hemp is of first necessity to the wealth & protection of the country.”
“We shall, by and by, want a world of hemp more for our own consumption.”
Was it possible that the patriotic boys of the Continental Army, marched off to battle the British Red Coats while stoned on weed? No wonder they won.
I can picture General Georgie the Washman, just before stepping on that boat prior the surprise attack on the British troops in Trenton, knowing he was going to freeze his ass off during the crossing, taking a toke or two to help him weather the voyage. How do you think the Continental Army was able to survive that bone-chilling winter at Valley Forge?
And what about TJ living large and enjoying it on that back veranda at Monticello watching his sweating slaves work his fields through the haze of smoke curling up from the joint he is holding in one hand while his other hand snakes under Sally Hemming’s skirt to stroke her rump. Now that’s what patriotism is all about.
The Real Birth of a Nation.
3. 2011: It’s against the law to lie on television in Canada.
Canadian conservatives tried to change that law so FOX could broadcast in Canada. They were unable to get the law changed, so FOX does not operate in Canada!
TODAY’S NEWS FROM THAILAND:
Of the two national English language newspapers in Thailand, “The Nation” is considered the tabloid, and until recently I have always assumed was the more conservative of the two and the one most strongly supportive of the party opposed to Thaksin the Terrible, the exiled fugitive elder brother of the current Prime Minister Princess Lucky Girl. My perception may have been wrong. I recently noticed a decided shift in its editorial and headline policy to be more sympathetic to the current government.
POOKIE’S ADVENTURES IN THAILAND:
Not much to report. I have begun preparation for my return to the US on January 24. Other than that I have continued to swim every day and have gone to see,”The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo,” and “Tinker, Tailor…” at the movies. I enjoyed both very much although how one could comprehend “Tinker, Tailor…” without reading the book or having seen the Alec Guinness version, I will never understand.
I thought “Dragon Tattoo,” was worth seeing for Rooney Mara’s retaliatory rape alone. When she looked down at her now cowering tormentor with the black rings around her eyes and explained to him that he should fear her because her social service investigators opinion was true, she was insane, it brought tears to my eyes.
In prior posts and in my blogs, I have repeatedly warned of the inevitable crises and economic and political turmoil resulting from impending mass migrations of populations displaced by war, revolution, climate, political or economic disruption. It is already being felt in many parts of the world today. According to Michael Wertz and Laura Conley:
“The United Nations’ recent Human Development Report stated that, worldwide, there are already an estimated 700 million internal migrants—those leaving their homes within their own countries—a number that includes people whose migration is related to climate change and environmental factors. Overall migration across national borders is already at approximately 214 million people worldwide, with estimates of up to 20 million displaced in 2008 alone because of a rising sea level, desertification, and flooding.
One expert, Oli Brown of the International Institute for Sustainable Development, predicts a tenfold increase in the current number of internally displaced persons and international refugees by 2050.”
(The US is not immune. Historically once migration begins, resistance, no mater how violent has rarely, if ever, proven effective for long. The only options are, either accept it and do the best one can to assimilate the migrants into the host culture with minimal turmoil or to affirmatively relieve the causes for the migration in an effort to slow or stop it. Jingoistic and nationalist policies only causes the receiving culture greater short-term and long-term damage. The greatest disruption is from the creation of an increasingly isolated and resentful minority population that reacts by refusing to assimilate while by the sheer force of its numbers demands a share of political and economic control over the host society.)
PAPA JOES TALES AND FABLES:
MOPEY JOE’S MEMORIES:
On the Edge: Stories about the Creation and Early Years of California’s Monumental Coastal Protection Program.
In the Beginning: an oft told story.
In the autumn of 1972, I was a card-carrying, pot smoking, alternative life style living, unemployed, hirsute Hippy San Franciscanus. It was about noon on a glorious fall day. I was wandering about in downtown San Francisco wondering about what I was going to do about lunch. I was just passing the newly built Transamerica Building on my way to North Beach, hippy central during those times. Out of the corner of my eye I catch sight of a very tall, very skinny bearded man emerging from the forest of columns supporting the somewhat pyramid-shaped building who was rapidly approaching me.
He was dressed more or less in the style of my cultural sub-group. That is, he was not wearing a business suit or clothing purchased from any retail store not dealing in second-hand garments. His outfit was accessorized with a red bandanna around his neck and an aluminum Sierra Club drinking cup dangling from a rope belt tied around his waist. He grabbed my arm with his long skinny fingers and Moses like, but in a surprisingly squeaky voice, said:
“You must help save the Pygmy Forest.”
Now the societal fringe movement to which I belonged at that time was very sensitive to anything that could be considered a portent of an emerging transcendental experience. Here, the sun was at its zenith and I was standing at the base of an almost pyramid like the wedding guest detained by the ancient mariner, clearly a portent portended. So in the polite manner of the denizens of New York where I was born, raised and had so recently left, I answered:
“What the fuck is a Pygmy Forest?”
(To be continued)
JOEY’S MYSTERY NOVEL:
Chapter: Don’t Piss off Meg:
It was late, Meg had spent a few hours a Fat Al’s offices reviewing with him the chaotic and seemingly unconnected information he had assembled. She was sure there was something in that mess of documents could help her to clear up the cause of Stephanie’s death. Later they had dinner together at a little restaurant near the office where they swapped cop stories. They were interrupted by a call from Ray. Vince Biondi and someone else were involved is a shootout at a posh hotel in downtown.
They drove down to see for themselves. Fat Al’s retired cop badge and her uniform got them past the police lines. Fat Al spoke with a few of his old colleagues in homicide. It seems the police believed that it was a gangland shooting of some sort. Three people were dead. The hotel’s restaurant staff and four diners had been herded into the large freezer in the kitchen by five armed men. The three dead bodies had been identified as some of the intruders. Apparently their target had been some other diner or diners at least one of whom was a middle-aged man seated by the maitre’d before he was hustled off into the freezer by the gunman. He had recognized the man because he had eaten there a few weeks ago. Unfortunately the reservation book page had been torn out. Al was sure they would go through the prior reservation to try to identify the diner who they both agreed was probably Vince. It would take them a few days Al guessed.
As she approached the incline that rose to pass along the edge of the cliff referred to as Devil’s Slide, where Stephanie’s automobile, like so many others, had slid off the road and crashed into the rocks and surf below, she was convinced Stephanie’s death was not an accident and somehow connected to tonight’s events at the restaurant. Stephanie had begged Vince to meet with her so that she could share some information about her husband’s death. But, she died the night before they could meet. Now someone had tried to kill Vince, or was it the woman he was with and why?
Preoccupied with her thoughts, her car climbed the hill and entered the narrow winding and often impassable road that traversed Devil’s Slide itself. The fog had begun to creep across the road making it slick and the looming curves hard to see. But she had driven this road many times before and knew it like the back of her hand. She chuckled and wondered where that expression came from. Did anyone really know the back or their hand all that well. She raised her hand to look at it and glanced into her rear view mirror. She saw a car following her closely, too closely. Stupid for someone to follow a police patrol car that closely; just looking for a ticket she thought. Then she noticed the car speed up and felt the impact as it plowed into her rear bumper. Her vehicle skidded and went out of control.
(To be continued)
1. From “Not the Nation”(Thailand’s version of “The Onion”) :
Fortune Tellers Predict Record-Breaking Stupidity, Profits In 2012
BANGKOK – As the year draws to a close, Thailand’s professional soothsayers and astrologers have issued their annual predictions. Their unanimous verdict is that 2012 will be a great year for their industry, concurrent with it being a poor year for human intelligence, rational thought, and deductive reasoning.
2. You may be smarter than you think you are:
According to Psychology Today, people who use more drugs are more intelligent. “Intelligent people don’t always do the right thing,” they write, “only the evolutionarily novel thing.”
According to a study conducted by National Child Development, “more intelligent children in the United Kingdom are more likely to grow up to consume psychoactive drugs than less intelligent children.” These drugs include marijuana, cocaine, heroin, alcohol and tobacco.
“Very bright individuals (with ID above 125) are roughly three-tenths of a standard deviation more likely to consume psychoactive drugs than very dull individuals,” says Psychology Today. They ran the same study in the U.S. and found similar results.
(I always suspected my grandsons were geniuses.)
“POOKIE FOR PRESIDENT”
Please see the blog: http://papajoestales.wordpress.com/
This is what we have become:
Gordon “Chaps” Klingenschmitt is joining other right-wing activists in defending the Florida Family Association and Lowe’s, which bowed to the extremist group’s pressure to stop advertising on TLC’s All-American Muslim. Klingenschmitt prayed for God to “grant Lowe’s their greatest financial profits” and asked God to bless the FFA for “exposing the deeds of darkness.” He also labeled All-American Muslim “Islamic propaganda” and said people who oppose FFA’s pressure campaign against the reality show’s advertisers are “terrorist sympathizers.”
And yet, I still receive email correspondence from those who claim that posting this is merely “liberal” propaganda. I just have to sigh and assume they perhaps also believe “Kristallnacht” never happened. We need to remember that not all terrorists are Muslim. Some terrorists (alas much too many) claim to be God-fearing American Christians. Also, not all Muslims are terrorists or even sympathize with them although, I am sorry to say, when it comes to sympathy for terrorists the same cannot be said of conservative punditry, Faux News and the right-wing religious hierarchy all of whom at one time or another have been known to, if not urge, than at least condone terrorism and killing of those with whom they disagree. Again, I suggest we recall the words of “Mr. Conservative,” Barry Goldwater:
“I’m frankly sick and tired of the political preachers across this country telling me as a citizen that if I want to be a moral person, I must believe in “A,” “B,” “C” and “D.” Just who do they think they are? And from where do they presume to claim the right to dictate their moral beliefs to me?
And I am even more angry as a legislator who must endure the threats of every religious group who thinks it has some God-granted right to control my vote on every roll call in the Senate. I am warning them today: I will fight them every step of the way if they try to dictate their moral convictions to all Americans in the name of “conservatism.”
Isn’t it about time we ask some of our elected officials to show the same courage is opposing these thugs as Barry Goldwater did?
“Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams.”-
Mary Ellen Kelly (anthropologist) (found in Whatever It Is, I’m Against It, Nat Hentoff, ed.)
From Robert Frank, author of The Darwin Economy: Liberty, Competition, and the Common Good, who argues that unfettered competition may be good for individuals but can be hell for the common good.
Southern California at night.
See if you can find the bright lights of Disneyland.