This and that from re Thai r ment. February 28, 2010

Well, for those who expressed concern and interest about my visa saga, on Friday for a mere additional $60 under the table, I finally obtained my 3 month visa, upgradeable to a one year renewable retirement visa. I celebrated this weekend by sleeping a lot.

I now can look forward to whatever it is that one looks forward to.

Hayden’s school semester ends on Friday and a two week summer recess begins. I plan to take him to Bangkok by train next weekend so that he can spend is fifth birthday with his mom. They will go to the South of Thailand to spend some time with NaIalie’s relations. I plan to spend a week or so at the beach, hopefully on one of the islands in the Bay of Thailand. Hayden’s summer semester begins on the 17th of March and ends sometime in July when the fall semester begins. Natalie is contemplating having him skip the summer session and taking him to Italy or San Francisco or both. If that is the case I will probably spend most of my time at the beach until he returns, unless one of you choose to come to Southeast Asia and invite me along on your vacation.

Today was the first very hot day in paradise. I took my nap on the balcony, not because it was cooler but because I thought it would be Cool. I was neither cooler nor Cool. Today’s photograph is of the balcony directly off my bedroom.

I hope everyone is healthy and well and anyone that needs a job has one.



Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Interesting time. Sunday I got sick from withdrawal for not taking my Prozac for 5 days. No pharmacy able to fill prescription. Jerry drove me to hospital got prescription. Took pills and went home to bed. Monday got up feeling better. Found the car battery that we jump stared yesterday dead again. Spent the remainder of the day worrying bout money and went to sleep. Did begin my “Hayden” stories. Tried out what I had done so far with little effect on Hayden. Disappointment. Today had to buy new battery (3750 baht), give maid 1000 baht for food. Ugh, I cannot spend more than 1000 baht per day and have any left over for months end…

Wednesday, February 24, 2010 8 AM

First day since I returned that I feel relatively healthy, Plans for today include haircut and shave, medicine shopping run and work on “Biondi”. Although I am behind on work schedule I am not too far behind. Should research and maybe ask Mary how to set up blog. DON’T FORGET TO RESEARCH AND CANCEL SS AND AARP.

Thursday, February 25, 2010 9AM

Today is an “itchy” day. One of those days when you feel itchy just under the skin and feel as though something is about to happen and it is not going to be good.


So far so good. Sent 2000 baht to Tai.


Got shave and haircut (200 baht). Picked up Hayden and so to home.


Getting ready for bed. Hayden out for dinner with Leo and parents. Have to wait up until he returns in case N. calls. Wasted day???

February 26, 2010 9:30 AM

This morning I will go to immigration office to file for long term visa.
Earlier this morning I thought that I was spending most of my time in this diary on myself, another indulgence. I thought it would be better and more interesting to spend more time on observations especially of Hayden. Perhaps this is a normal evolution in journals, begin with self indulgence, run out of things to say, look around and see what is happening.

As I have mentioned somewhere, I have several concerns about Hayden’s behavior that may or may not be independent of his mother’s actions. For example, his flagrant exhibition of his sexuality. He is always rubbing his penis and likes to parade around the house naked with an erect boner. During the period that he slept in my bed he often tried to get me to touch his wiener. He is constantly presenting his butt whenever we try to take photographs or when he is dancing around. I do not know if this is “normal” behavior at this age or signifies something else. I will try to keep a record of it.

12 Noon

Returned from immigration office. Choti arranged for my 3 month non-immigration visa to be issued today. I owe 4000 baht, 2000 for fee and 2000 for vigorish. I am slowly strangling from lack of money. Will I last until the 17th of March. I have only about $500 in account. If AARB etc. deducted only about $300 left or about $15 (450 baht) per day..Ugh again…


I have left my room following my nap and went to the Sala because it usually prompts the maid to bring me lunch. I have become Pavlov’s dog.

Saturday, February 27 2010 10 AM

Am at Sunshine Kindergarden Bi-lingual School. Today is the last day or the Saturday Art Program at the school and they are having a party for the children. Hayden is in an exceptionally good mood, laughing a lot and running around with the other children. Unable to detect anything of underlying behavioral significance except this morning he was in his meta-sexual mood slipping his hand under my butt as I sat playing with my computer. Whether it was for attention or some other reason, I do not know. At school he alternates between wanting me to leave and go back home and wanting me to stay. Neither with great emotion.

The school is a happy place. music playing all the time. “I’m a little Teapot” just finished. Lots of play space and play surfaces. Lot of small chairs around it happy colors. Jerry sat beside me. Have to attend to him.

11 AM

Okay, chatter completed, walk around accomplished, back to diary. Hayden asked me not to go home. I assured him I was not. Jerry sits down again. See you later.

11:30 AM

Back again. “Itsy Bitsy Spider” is playing, followed by “This Old Man”. Jerry is off to see the rugby match on television. I guess the formal part of the “last day” party is over as chaos appears to have taken over. Ah, Choti is trying to organize the younger children into singing a song or something. Lot’s of clapping by Choti for attention and lot’s of OK’s. Now she has got them all to sing, “Good Morning to You” with everyone clapping in rhythm. Choti now it wearing an elephant mask and going around the circle of children greeting them and shaking their hands. The now are singing “Good by to you”.

I walk over to where the older children are. Hayden is in this group along with Leo, Mario three girls and two teachers, one Hayden’s usual teacher and the other a male most likely the art teacher. They are coloring various shapes printed on a sheet of paper that they will cut out and paste on a small paper bag to make a puppet. It looks like they will also paste some of the shapes of paper pie plates. To make what I do not know.

Hayden seems to require more attention that the others. He has now brought his cut outs to the art teacher and has sat down next to him and resumed coloring the shapes he had not yet cut out. He is definitely more active than the others (ADD?). He has colored the paper bag and looks like he is working with the art teacher to paint something. He has gotten up and walked back and forth along the work table looking for something he apparently cannot find. His puppet is finished. He is now going around the table smiling and showing off the puppet. None of the other children are doing that. He has come over to me to show me. We talk about it. I ask him what is it’s name? He answers Hayden.

Mario is wearing shades. Hayden. Leo and Mario all of whom have finished their puppets have gone to lie down on the mat. The other children follow. Several songs that I recognize but cannot name are playing now. The teachers are washing up the paint brushes, etc. “Row, Row Row your Boat” is now playing followed by “The Hokey Pokey”.

5 PM

Slept most of afternoon. Hot. Took shower. Hayden wanted to go to the pool. Went. Had some discussion with guards regarding membership in World Club. Resolved. While walking down stairs to pool, I went ahead of Hayden and disappeared from his view. He started screaming and crying. Said “I could not see you”. Is this normal for a five year old boy?

When we got to the pool, he did not want to go into the children’s pool if anyone else was in it. When the two older children left, he went in and seems to be enjoying himself alone.


From Irwin:

sometimes when people get sick, like having a bad cold or the flu, they often exclaim in a wavering voice, “i think i’m dying!” well, although my nose is running, i don’t have a cold or the flu, but yesterday i thought sure i was on my way out. i could feel my body just sort of say, “oh, wtf” and just give up. i was driving at the time so i pulled over just in case i lost consciousness…i was really sleepy. needless to say, but i will, i made it through the rest of the day and the night and today;not in the best of comfort however it just wasn’t time for a dirtbath. so here i am struggling to stay upright and tossing off an email to thailand.

bad news of today, other than the status of my personal well-being, was that i accidentally deleted my email address book. the whole book!! the good news was that fortunately i had printed out a copy yesterday so i spent much of today entering all of the names and their email address into the outlook express program (i don’t like the windows live mail program). then to capitalize on this experience i copied the address book and sent it to a cd. it worked. the cd works, however, i am not sure that if i lose the addresses again on my pc i can copy those on the cd into the program. i hope i don’t ever have to find out. to top things off, two days ago i received an email from a person who was in my high school graduating class (the first time i received such correspondence). on his email was a list of about fifty people that he had sent the email to in addition to myself. somehow, in a manner i couldn’t replicate with other addresses today, i managed to copy that list and put it into a folder on my email program. i really don’t need those fifty email addresses. there were only two people on it that i might ever corressspond with having no desire to let my high school friends in on the joke that in spite of great promise in the twelfth grade i have amounted to nothing. but it was just the idea and then again the list was in email addresses and not names so, except for the two addresses, i didn’t know who those people were or if indeed they were from the graduating class of “55”. i’m not positive but i think raquel welsh was in my class. other than her i don’t know of anyone who i socialized with on a daily basis at the “old grey castle” that amounted to anything. i hated school and had a miserable time.

i am somewhat confused based upon your description of hayden’s school recesses. located therein, and i do hope i’m wrong, is an inference that could be drawn by an unknowledgeable reader that since his mother’s social calendar seems to be different than yours that perhaps late day romance has withered. none of my business but i do wish you well on the woman front. if so i conclude that in addition to getting away from it all, you have done an honorable and noble thing by paying attention to and participating in raising your youngest son. i admire such an undertaking. i wish i had the assuredness that i would step up to the plate and do the same if the situation so warranted.

unlike your warming locale here it is in the high fifties today but the rain has stopped! i just returned unwet from my walk (no pictures) whereon i stopped at the south-west corner of slater avenue and los jardines west and spoke with lilly campbell. lilly has been sending postcards illuminating her local real estate expertise for years and indeed she sold the house next door to me when the smiley family lived there (they are now in henderson nevada just outside vegas). i explained to her that my last wife intends to be buried in the house and that lilly’s services would be an unlikely event involving the schatzmans of fountain valley.

last night i watched an old black and white western staring gregory peck, a familiar looking woman and richard widmark. now don’t ask me why i did this. i don’t know although i suspect that there was not any action movie on the other channels which i had not seen before more than once. the only option was some soft-porn flicks which i find silly and boring, especially when you can watch some hardcore stuff (no cum shots) for $12.95 and up. i think the movie (‘yellow sky”) must be a well-known film critics idea of good old westerns as there was some interesting camera shots and relatively good performance on the part of the fake cowboys and indians. tonight i have a feeling that i will retire earlier than usual so that i may fall asleep and escape this cusp of emotional and physical pain.

when a baseball person comes up to the plate on a ballfield in chaing mai does the announcer say, “bahter up!”?

Joe’s response to Irwin:

The mother and my romance withered some years ago. That is why my new friend (pictured below) may accompany me these next few weeks. Alas, like my pecker I fear that romanceis withering also or to quote the great Willie Nelson, “I’ve outlived my dick”.

As for Hayden, it appears that I am the only one raising him. I am merely waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under us.

Your email worries me. I thought you were in remission. Is that not so?

Regarding “Yellow Sky”, I do not recall it (nothing new, I sometimes do not recall my name), but let me guess, Peck plays the Hero, Widmark the heavy and the familiar woman is well, familiar and she plays no role other than the familiar woman is a western, unless she plays the familiar prostitute.

It is hot again here. I nap even more than usual in the heat. The house however even without the air conditioner on stays comfortable for my naps.

Joe..or as I am called here in Thailand “Pookie”.

More from Irwin:

dear pookie:
the name “pookie” is, if i am not misinformed, used by a character on the soupy sales show. i can’t remember what pookie looked like or if he was a dog like “white fang” and “black tooth” or some other species of character but he must, as have you, made an impression on me as i have remembered the name to this day.

i am impressed by your particular talent for attracting good looking women (is she eighteen?!) and would beg for your advice as to how to do it except as you quoted the mantra, i must admit that i am also a member of the willy nelson longevity club. while it is true i have a vial of livitra in my credenza drawer i have not used even one pill contained therein – i assume that such substances are freely available in thailand so if you are worried you should trot off to the nearest appocathery (sp?); which in your case may be that convenience store in a home garage shown in a picture you sent. unlike you, i have no one with whom to use a dick-drug and my heart could not take the tremors of another affair (did i tell you that on one the husband found out and called my wife?) not to mention that my attractiveness has faded coincident with the diminishing thickness of my wallet, obliteration of political connections and lack of status……..thus no power. no dick/no money leads to a lonely life.

please do not worry about me. i sometimes long for eternal sleep…maybe almost daily. my cancer is not only in remission but my oncologist surgeon say’s that i am “cancer free”. my suffering is caused by an unending sequence of physical ailments allegedly related to anxiety and depression. on the other hand, i have come to the conclusion that any physical pain with which i contend is no more than do others , it’ just that i am more sensitive to such malfunctions and ruminate on them. my depression is due to a misspent and unfulfilled life, watching others succeed where i have failed, having no money to speak of (still paying off 2008 income taxes) and my physical complaints. ain’t it cool?! at least if i could play the piano like oscar levant – he once was quoted as saying that he “knew doris day before she became a virgin”.

i now will also take a nap. i will dream that your girlfriend has a friend for me.

Joe’s response to Irwin:

“…no power, no dick/ no money leads to a lonley life.”, words to live by.

Thank you for setting my mind at rest about your health.

Viagra and Cialis give me a headache.

My girl friend thought that she could possibly make available the young lady in the picture below. With her clothes on she often plays a nurse.

(Photograph ommitted – site decorum)

Irwin’s response:

cousin – perhaps to spare me much additional anguish, the fates succeeded in masking the nurse photo you emailed to me yesterday. all that appeared on my monitor screen was your text and a square with a little red box in the upper left hand corner (seen by many a computer novice). it’s perhaps best that i didn’t get to glimpse at what i am missing for why torment myself with what might have been? however, i guess i would be willing to be man enough by accepting such punishment as a view of the photo might render should you sent the photo to me again…please!

i was up late (2:00 am) watching some movies. one i hadn’t seen before and after watching wished i hadn’t due to the way it dealt with it’s disappointing storyline finish and the second i have seen before but watched most of it again anyway to see what halle berry would do for me. so i’m a little groggy this morning. in a couple of hours i will take 1/2 xanax and then leave to see my surgical oncologist (i call him “the sturgeon” as what he always tells me is quite fishy). i see him every few months as a visual check on my cancer-freeness, and then take an mri/cat scan/pet scan every six months or so. i think i have to do this for five years so that he has steady employment at kaiser permanente. since he is of japanese origin i will tell him that last night i also watched part of tora tora tora (i thought it was going to be a jewish religious movie). it seems that the radiation left me with a condition called “trismus” which i refer to as “merry trismus” on occasion. there is a hand held machine-gadget which is touted by it’s manufacturer as being beneficial for sufferers of this oral constraint and i will see if i can’t get the good doctor to have kaiser order me one and pay for it.

since the kaiser facility i am going to today is not the one closest to me and is only a couple of miles from the house of my eldest son, depending upon what time i get out of the doctor’s clutches and into the oy-onemobile i may stop by the schatzmans of yorba linda and play with my grandchildren for a short while – i like to physically annoy them. when there i also keep an eye out for coyotes (the kids don’t play outside). this the second house my son and daughter-in-law have purchased which is in coyote territory and has a major slope in the back yard. i think these things have some meaning of which i have not as yet been able to decipher. perhaps they know i am frightened and annoyed by canines (they have two) as i can’t stand something smaller than i which threatens me, not to mention cause significant pain when it’s jaws clamp down on my skin and then i may have to go to the doctor and receive painful injections as part of a rabies regimen. why dogs are afraid (mostly) of their master but not of another human i can’t fathom. as to the reason for the schatzmans’ penchant to live under a slope i can not venture a guess, i have not a clue. frankly they probably don’t either.

given this hectic schedule for the day i guess i will forgo my daily constitutional. the last few times i have began to take different routes to take the edge of the boredom that comes with seeing the same houses, streets, etc. nevertheless since i remain mostly in my subdivision i don’t see anything new. last sunday i drove off with the intent of walking along the boardwalk of newport beach but turned around and came home do to gastric distress while on the 55 south – in orange county the beach is sort of south and not west.

when i arrive home from the doctor’s appointment, then i may take a late afternoon nap. perhaps i will dream of being the recipient of some special physical “attention” by the aforementioned nurse. i bet she could really take extra good care of me.

mi perdoni padre, perche ho peccato.

And more from Irwin:

joseph – early this morning about 2:00 am when i was about to retire and chalk off another lost and unfulfilling day i noticed that the screen on my cell-phone had a graphic of a column and the word “battery” appeared. i thought well maybe even tho i charge the battery each night all night long something went wrong and the battery is really run down. so i put in the plug and charged it again until the screen read “battery full”. i pulled out the plug and went away. when i came back to fill my pockets before leaving on errands this afternoon i noticed the cell-phone screen was blank and so i figured that there must be something wrong. as in broken. damaged goods. kaput. fini. didn’t pay the bill.

i took the phone into radio shack where i had purchased it maybe three years ago and the salesperson who had a ring in his lip told me that it would cost around $80 to fix, if they could, but that he would give me a new phone free. what’s the catch? i had to sign a new two-year contract with at&t. since i maybe receive three phone calls a month (usually the wrong number or a salesperson) i have been contemplating doing away with the phone altogether except for fear of need in case of emergency – like if i should actually try one of the levitra pills in my cradenza drawer and i get an erection that lasts over four hours and i have to call the doctor. in a quandary, i left radio shack and headed to trader joes to buy a kosher chicken – it being the sabbath thus the kosher butcher shop was closed.

on my way i remembered that there was an at&t store about a mile ahead and so i stopped there. a man named abraham (fitting) asked if he could help. i explained the problem. he took the phone in hand and lo and behold, no burning bush but he turned it on! it works. apparently after the super battery charge the phone turns itself off and i didn’t think with what’s left of my distilled potato liquid ravaged brain that i should just try to turn the phone on. i confess i almost wish the phone were permanently dead and that i needed to buy a new one rather than continue to suffer from the personal embarrassment, indignity and continuing rumination about being so very very stupid.

which leads me to my question which is, since you, in a previous email, sent a phone number beginning with “0” or something absurd like that i am guessing that you rid yourself of your cellphone before you departed the shores of california. is that true? in which case i can delete that no longer functioning number from my cell-phone address book leaving that vacancy for perhaps a new found love as unlikely as that may be.


Joe and Hayden’s email to Nikki:


Haden says “I love you”. He wants to know when you are coming to Chiang Mai. “I would like to go with you to Pattalung.”

hayden i love you when are you coming (this line was typed by Hayden)

Nikki’s Response:

HI my schedule is pretty much open after we celebrate hayden birthday we can either go to some beaches and than divert to pattalung but the only problem is her planning after all she can drops us off somewhere as usual getting tired or bored going to work……
anyway u guys wait me there and we ll organize something the baby had to to dentist too so i think pattaya or hua hin woul be closer
see u later


From Ruth:

Congratulations. Dare I ask if the year for the year-long begins at the end of the 3 months or at the beginning? No. I don’t dare ask. Forget it.

If Hayden winds up in San Francisco, does he get to meet and maybe play with his relatives there? I’ve lost track of how many children Jason has with Hiromi, but I was able to figure out how old the older three are. I do sometimes wonder about Anthony, who really was a great kid in the days when he was about 4-8.

Best mystery I have read in decades, maybe ever: Michael Dibdin’s “A Rich Full Death.” Did I already tell you this? Best novel not a mystery: White Tiger.

If Joan ever gets her giant new loom (part of which she has already dropped on her hand, with very dramatic results) put together, she is going to let me help weave rag rugs. I have also signed up for an afternoon workshop called “Making Faces: Playful Portraits Art Workshop.” Nursery school was one of my favorite life phases, and still get a kick out of artsy-craftsy things. I just don’t want the results accumulating in my house.

Enjoy the hot weather.

Joe’s response to Ruth:

Jason has one child with Hiromi, a girl Amanda, She is one month older that Hayden.

Anthony has had a difficult adolesence. He is still basically a good kid.

Is that a new Dibden? I thought I had read them all.

I read White Tiger. I agree great book.

I took a loom weaving class once. Made a scarf (hat else). Haven’t touched a loom since.

Have fun with the worksop. Hayden provides me with enough kindergarden crafts to last me for a while.

On a more serious note, the following is part of an email that I have received from Irwin. Please do not tell him that I sent it to you. It looks as though his illness is even more serious than he lets on. (email above)

Ruth responds:

There are no new Dibdins. He died a couple of years ago. This one was 1999. It’s not Inspector Zen. I’m reading one of the Zen ones now: “Cosi Fan Tutti.”

I didn’t realize Irwin was ill, although this excerpt certainly sounds as if he’s got some kind of problem. I hope he got himself checked out, because this description could have been a mild heart attack or stroke, and some of those things can be treated. I sent him an email before I got this one from you, just asking how he is. Haven’t heard back, but I didn’t attach any significance to that. Please let me know if you hear anything else.

I just came back from another computer lesson. I wish I would get more comfortable trying things. I love it when they show me all these cool things my computer can do, but it’s hard to find excuses to keep doing all those things for practice so I forget them by the next time I try. I’m going to have to take lots of pictures in order to play with all the i-photo gimmicks I’ve learned.

Do your two families have any interaction or do you keep them strictly separate?

Over the past weekend, I ran into all sorts of people who knew me back when I was a real person as opposed to a councilwoman. It was such a nice feeling to have people glad to see ME as opposed to IT. Remember how the women’s movement was always complaining about being treated as objects? I never really experienced that until I became and elected official, and then I couldn’t shake it. Recently though several former staffers and one current city staff guy have been quoting me to me or have told me stories about myself that turned out to be quite fun.

Joe responds:

I probably read it but I cannot recall it. I had always gotten the impression as I read through the Zen books that Zen himself was slowly dying.

Speaking of computers, I spent most of this morning trying to figure out why I could not get on to the internet. Finally I gave up in frustration, and of course I was immediately connected.

Ruth Responds:

this one takes place in Florence and Robert Browning figures prominently in the story

Joe to Ruth:

I guess I was concerned unnecessarily about Irwin. I received this today:

please do not worry about me. i sometimes long for eternal sleep…maybe almost daily. my cancer is not only in remission but my oncologist surgeon say’s that i am “cancer free”. my suffering is caused by an unending sequence of physical ailments allegedly related to anxiety and depression. on the other hand, i have come to the conclusion that any physical pain with which i contend is no more than do others , it’ just that i am more sensitive to such malfunctions and ruminate on them. my depression is due to a misspent and unfulfilled life, watching others succeed where i have failed, having no money to speak of (still paying off 2008 income taxes) and my physical complaints. ain’t it cool?! at least if i could play the piano like oscar levant – he once was quoted as saying that he “knew doris day before she became a virgin”.

Ruth Comments:

Sounds to me as if concern is appropriate. He’s been depressed for years, usually focused on this notion of a failed life but either unwilling or unable to find something to amuse himself. I didn’t know about the cancer. I haven’t seen Irwin since you and he and I had lunch in Newport Beach probably five years ago–I think Hayden had just been born or was at least still an infant.

Maybe the fact that he doesn’t like that others have succeeded where he has failed explains why he can’t bring himself to email back to me.

By the way, I read a book by Oscar Levant that was wonderful. Of course I don’t remember the title, though I may still have it in the house someplace.

Categories: January 2010 through March 2010 | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

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