This and that from re Thai r ment. March 14, 2010

Amazingly my most recent post generated the most responses of any I have written. Most of the posts coming down to “you have made your bed etc.” I thank you all for your kind consideration of my plight.

Actually what disturbs me most about the “tree incident” is that every morning when I sit on my patio drinking my coffee and smoking my morning cigar, the maimed tree stands (or more accurately leans) directly in front of me (see below) reminding my of all my failures in life. This morning as I look at it cleared of its masking vegetation and exposing the extent of its lean, maybe if would be better to cut the whole thing down and start again.

Anyway, my guest Mac or Max I could not understand which, arrived yesterday with his father. A photograph of Mac or Max and Hayden, missing teeth and all is attached below.

Hayden decided the Tooth Fairy is a rip off and decided to keep his tooth unless the tooth fairy agrees to meet with him in person to negotiate the deal. As he said, he likes his tooth much more that the tooth fairy does. He asked if the tooth fairy is a man or a woman, a question I could not answer. It could be a man, traditional iconography aside. As I contemplated this I imagined Dick Cheney dressed it a tutu sneaking into Hayden’s room at night reaching under his pillow for the tooth. I decided Hayden was right to resist the tides of history and so I let Hayden hang on to his tooth hoping for a regime change in fairydom.

Mac or Max’s father who is Thai seems nice but he never smiles. What ever happened to the land of smiles? I have not heard either one of them speak english so I assume they cannot.




For yesterday, see emails to Nikki for the day.

Hayden slept with me last night. Did not sleep much. Throat painful. Got up. There was no water with which to bathe. Natalie called. Said we had no drinking water or bread and that I had to go buy it at Big C. Oo called at about 9:30. Said she was at airport and I had to pick her up. Got in the car with H. Got to front gate. Nat called said I had to pick up Mac or Max or whatever his name. Went to airport. Bought antibiotic (Amoxillian??) Took two. Waited until 10:50 when they arrived. Mac as I will call him hugged Hayden then hugged me. Came home. Nat called said I had to take Pi Newan to chicken soup place to get lunch for all of us. Went, got lunch fixings, water and bread. Came home. Went upstairs took another 2 pills. Went downstairs ate lunch. Felt awful. Went upstairs napped until a few minutes ago. They went off to the pool. I returned to my room. Nat called. Said guest and Hayden should sleep in her bedroom and I was not to shower there so that they can be treated like family. Wrote this.


From Irwin:

last night i had sleepus interuptus. i awoke at 12:47 am and then again at 2:30 am thinking that i would never again ever fall asleep. i finally did and dreamed i was back working at the county of orange only it was geographically moved to san francisco. all was confusion. even a woman (who i think was a bar maid at gulliver’s who wouldn’t give me the time of day, stupid bitch) asked me to take her for lunch but i couldn’t manage to get out of my office bed in time to fit her calendar. subsequently i swallowed some liquid out of a bottle only later to discover that it wasn’t mouthwash but some type of potentially poisonous chemicals used in cremation; but after all it was in a champagne shaped bottle how was i to know? in deciding if i should seek medical attention (oh no. not the stomach pump) i finally reminded myself that i was dreaming and woke up to discover that the metamucil i took two nights before was kicking in. i made it to the bathroom in time.

it has occurred to me that perhaps the contents of my last few emails has been, say, somewhat caustic. i assure you it’s nothing personal. rather it is symptomatic of turning my anger onto someone else which is a tendency i have developed the last few years since becoming incapable of earning a living – so why should anybody else be able to?! – and seeing others become sucessful in their endevors.

being it’s sunday, my last wife is off at the swap meets where she goes every weekend. yesterday she didn’t get home until 2:45 pm which was about three hours too soon for me but what the heck, i went for another walk. thinking of the leaning tree of joseph, in our 21 acre greenbelt we have a number of different types of trees ( quizzically chosen by some inept landscaper – probably a housewife of a member of the hoa board of directors). among the mixed foliage are what i believe to be two carob trees – at least they bear “fruit” which i think are carob-like. how i could possibly know what a carob looks like escapes my long-term memory. anyway i am torn between ignoring the possibility of free fruit and just ignoring the hanging gardens of green valley. such is my existence, always in a quandary.

From Joe to Nikki:

My new guests arrived on Saturday. As I described in “This and that…..” the child is named Mac of Max and the father name I still do not know. Nevertheless, in spite of the fathers quiet, reserved and stand-offish manor they have proven to be very good guests. Mac or Max and Hayden seem to play well together. Mac or Max seems to be one of those good natured children willing to accept Hayden’s more aggressive and demanding inclinations. The father is the perfect father for the Natalie type Thai. He is quiet, constantly attentive to the children, feeding them by hand, washing them and overseeing their play. More nanny than parent.

Netalie called and insisted that they occupy the master bedroom “because they are like family..”. The father had the good sense to use Nikki’s bedroom as their guest bedroom and use the master bedroom only to sleep in.

I still do not understand how Natalie still gets away with cadging money from us even though we know what she is up to. During her brief stay she got almost 3000 baht from me for “Food” and before she left I checked the refrigerator and indeed it was full. Upon the arrival of our guests, she called me to tell me that there was not enough food and water and that I had to go shopping with Pi Newan to restock the refrigerator. When I checked the refrigerator after her call, of course to my surprise it was almost empty.

From Ruth:

He may not speak English, but he’s an awfully cute kid! Odds are Hayden can tell you what his name really is. but I’m quite sure you’ve thought of that.

Let me get this straight: you’re sitting in exotic Thailand, in a house you own, smoking cigars and contemplating the universe. What is the failure of which you speak? I have to admit, though, that the tree does have a very dramatic lean.

Joe’s response to Ruth:

I have tried asking Hayden, but with his missing teeth and resulting lisp, Mac and Max sound the same.

Today I figured out that my guests understand more english than they speak.

Ruth Again:

In the photo, Hayden’s teeth look intact. How many languages does he speak, by the way?

Joe’s Response:

He is missing both upper and lower teeth. He hides it well.

He is perfectly bilingual in Thai and english. He used to be able to speak a smattering of Italian but he is losing it through lak of use.

More Ruth:

I envy people who can speak more than one language.

From Terry Goggin:

You are not a failure but are leading the mildly adventureous life of a simi retired country gent surrounded by an adoring child and assorted bizar characters, natile included. The tree will grow back, leave it alone, its got great jungle dna. You should begin a novel or,better yet, a childrens story book. You are a very interesting ma n of letters. I ll be our agent in nyc. By the way , aeigis is in fair shape cash wise and we are finally on a reasonable build out schedule in sf and nyc. Fidelity is considering putting the 15mm nyc offering on its platforms, possibl,y next wk. That will,as they now say, be a game changer. Keep a stiff uper lip when natile is around. See the wife now and again (is she still around?) And get cracking on that book. You are not simi retired, your simi working.

From Terry again:

Its difficult for a small co to operate a retail bussiness where senior leadership doesn’t speak the language and the legal system is particularly weak or unpredictable on the other hand I plan to help bee set up a small retail operation in bk but it will be hers to manage, time to sink or swim. I’ m serious about. A childrens book. Do onee about defenistration. They already have graphics and illustrations. Very spooky! Alreeady famous in the bay area. I’m sure we could get a publisher. I’ve done it before. Stop spending energy on stupid internet jokes and get cracking. Whe the going gets tough the tough kick ass.

Categories: January 2010 through March 2010 | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

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