I received a few emails from some of you commenting that my recent emails dwelled too much on the difficulties of my ex-pat life and were becoming a bit of a downer. Although I thought I was just providing a humorous take on the foibles of my current situation, I take the criticism seriously and I realize that I may have fallen into a rut. So this morning when I awoke I decided to do something different and declared today May 8, Punday.
I got the idea for this, as I usually get most of my ideas, from one of my favorite authors William Kotzwinkle. As with Henry David he is a favorite of mine not necessarily because of his literary output (Although he did write the screenplay for “ET the Extraterrestrial” and the stories for the “Walter the Farting Dog” series) but for the audacity of attempting a literary career with a name like Kotzwinkle.
Anyway, in his novel “The Fan Man,” about an archetypical New Yorker who, during the hot sticky days of the New York City summer, travelled about the City holding in front of him one of those little battery operated fans to cool himself off (Hence “The Fan Man” in case you have not already guessed). In one of the chapters of the book our Fan Man wakes up and declares that day to be “Dorkey Day” in which he would only speak the word Dorkey throughout the day [By the way for those with interest is such things Dork is a common and respected name for boys in Armenia]. The remainder of the chapter, for about 10 to 12 pages, consists exclusively of the word Dorkey repeated endlessly (Dorkey,Dorkey, Dorkey… for those who may need help visualizing) broken only by the variously perplexed or angry responses of the other citizens of the City whose paths may have crossed that of our hero that day.
Shakespeare must be eating his heart out. Can you imagine what the world of the theater would have been if Hamlet had instead of “The play’s the thing, in which we’ll catch the conscience of the King” our prince of Denmark announced, “Today is Dorkey day.”
Anyway, Punday comes also from one of my other literary mentors, cuzin Irwin (to whom I beg forgiveness) who sent me the following:
its Snow White’s birthday.
The dwarves buy her a camera as a present.
She is ecstatic and takes pictures of every thing she sees.
She takes the film in to be developed.
She goes back the next day to pick the pictures up.
The man behind the counter shakes his head as if to say, “No”.
Snow White cries.
the man behind the counter says
“Don’t worry Snow White, someday your prints will come”.
And for all you Snow Whites out there, may you prints come soon, but please always use protection or you may end up with a Kotzwinkle.
EXCERPTS FROM DIARY ENTRIES PRIOR TO POST:
THURSDAY MAY 6, 2010 1 PM
Yesterday after arriving back at my condo, I called Tai. She said she was back at her apt in BKK. We agreed that after she has a chance to shower she will come to JBPC. She did not and did not return phone calls.
yesterday’s return trip was almost as long as the trip out, more expensive, less comfortable and more boring.
FRIDAY MAY 7 2010 9 AM
Woke up early. Went down to lobby to work on internet at about 7 am. Tried to write a new KOs piece with little success. Tai called. Phone was disconnected several times.
Returned to apt. Tai called said she was leaving to BKK to come to see me. Asked if I was alone. I asked why did it matter. She said please do not give me more problems. I have a lot of problems. I said ok but I do not know which Tai to expect. She said please can she come. I said ok since you said please. I will see you later, I am not going anywhere. Asked how she planned to travel. She answered by taxi. Can you afford it I said. Yes she responded, I have enough money now.
Finishing up breakfast. Lots of good ideas for KOS post, but having difficulty executing.
Too hot to work. Should return to condo, put on AC, shower and nap. Again…
I have come to an awareness and it makes me feel dirty and ashamed. I have the male equivalent of the battered wife syndrome. Of course there is no direct physical violence, but I maintain the arrogant belief that it is somehow my fault how a woman treats me and so I give myself and others many excuses for not simply stopping it and withdraw. Most recently with Tai, that I just want to see how far she would go and that there might be a story in it. The shame is that I cannot seem to be able to stop it or even want to. I need help.
Tai called a few times today to tell me she was coming here today, first in the morning and then in the afternoon promising she will be here tonight. Then no answer to my calls.
I went out tonight. hoping she would come and not find me here and feel bad–ah the syndrome. Called Lek could not figure out how to hook up. A man answered and I hung up. Ate Falafel and the place I like. Then sat at a bar by good fellows and watched the working girls walk by. Many white girls. Are they working the street also. A few children. Good fellows a tranny bar?
Gary walked by. Called him over. Accompanied him to the Tables for dinner. Tables closed down. Went to P-72 Gary had dinner with the tall guy from San Jose. I had a chocolate sunday. Gary asked about my marriages.
They went catting, I went home.