Having nothing really better to write about, I thought that I will describe my typical day. I say this up front so that those of you that feel inclined to can press your delete key now.
As for the rest of you, I start my day at about 7AM and try to be back in bed by about 9:30 to 10 PM. I spend between 7 and eight hours of the day on what I call “work”. Actually, work to me now is what is left over after deducting the time I spend sleeping and taking naps, eating, staring at the walls or the ocean, swimming or engaged in various erotic pursuits. This latter for me, at my age, generally consists of surreptitiously staring at the tall thin blond russian women sunning themselves by the pool. This activity always makes me contemplate the wonders of metamorphosis (and no, not cockroaches). How amazing is it, that these tall thin creatures, obviously in their larvae stage can in a few short years in their adult stage change into the 300 pound monstrosities, lying snoring and drooling on the deck chairs near by. Do young people snore and drool when they sleep? I forget.
Maybe the 300 pound beached manatees are really the cocoon stage and just as the sun begins to set, giving everything a rosy glow, they will split open and out come the tall, thin beautiful blond women (and yes men too) and they will turn, wink at me, shake themselves off and walk off into the sunset. I have been too long in the sun. Time to get back to work.
During my work hours, I attend to my email correspondence like this and other things. I work a bit on the diary that I write for a so-called radical liberal blog where I gleefully warn those dear hearts of the ravening hordes of tea drinkers with their photographs of the President sporting a Hitler-like mustache and their “We are all Arizonans Now” signs, stalking the streets and by-ways of the country searching for them. “Get up,” I tell them. “Put out your joints, go out into the streets and organize.” “But please don’t refer to yourselves as some namby-pamby ‘coffee party’. Use some imagination dammit. Call yourselves the ‘Crack Cocaine Party’ or the ‘Crossing the Border Illegally Party’. You are liberals for christ sakes. Get a backbone. Get a life. Get a job”.
When I am not rabble-rousing, I some times work on the calendar I invented. In my calendar all the days of the week every month fall on the same day. So, the first day of the month is always on Sunday and the seventh day is always on Saturday. And every special calendar day, like one’s birthday, falls on the same day of the week and the same day of the month every year. And Winter Solstice is aways the first of January and summer always begins on the first of July. Of course, it has no practical application but I amuse myself with it. I now am trying to figure out how I can personally use it. For example today is Thursday, May 27 in the standard Gregorian calendar but it is Tuesday, June 3 on my calendar and June 3 will always fall on Tuesday.
One quirk of the calendar is that every year following the last day of the year and before the first day of the new year there is a day that falls outside of the calendar, outside any month and any week. It is a free day. You can call it anything you like. I call mine “Joe’s Day.”
I thought it would be nice if on that day, if my calendar were ever adopted, no one would be compelled to work. And at the same time no one would be entitled to receive pay for work they do perform. So, we all would have to consider volunteering for the jobs that need to be done that day. I like volunteering for hopeless tasks, like becoming a traffic control officer in downtown Pattaya for the day, or working as a volunteer on the Palin for President in 2012 campaign although now that I think about it, I probably worked on the Arlen Specter campaign. That’s enough, I need a nap.