TODAY FROM THAILAND:
Alas, Cordt has decided to move from BKK back to Chiang Mai. I say alas because friends are few and far between for me here. Losing one as gentle, artistic and interesting as Cordt is bad enough but it also reduces to about one the number of people here with which I can have a conversation of more that 3 words in English. Nevertheless, I wish him well.
In the good news category, the Good David has returned to BKK after receiving negative results on his state-side medical tests. Following a few celebratory days and another few required to sleep it off, he called to invite me to have lunch with him.
Now, up until five years or so ago, I enjoyed excellent dental coverage. As a result I still have most of my teeth or at least their original roots. Nevertheless, behind my 12 or 16 front teeth, my back 12 or 16 teeth are either solid or heavily plated gold. It has been pointed out by more that one person that my teeth are probably worth more than all the rest of me (they certainly are worth more than my current bank account). Even so, despite the heavy gold plating, here and there a tiny bit of the original tooth enamel peeks through and it is here that mean old Mr. Tooth Decay still lurks.
So, after accepting the Good David’s invitation, I informed him I had a toothache and needed to first stop at a dentist before proceeding to lunch. He agreed to accompany me. We found a nearby dental clinic and the David offered to treat me to a new filling. It took the dentist not much more than 5 minutes to clean the cavity and pack in the filling (all without Novocaine). David paid the approximately $30 for the service and we set off for lunch.
So, thank you Good David. My newly restored tooth now has a name, “The Good David’s Molar.” And to the remarkable but mysterious dentist who neither removed his surgical mask nor spoke a word throughout the procedure, good job.
B. NEWS STRAIGHT OR SLIGHTLY BENT:
1. What porn?
In a previous post I mentioned the sudden appearance of some porn photographs on the overhead projection screen during a debate in the Thai Legislature and the appointment of a committee to get at the bottom of it. After it was revealed that at least one legislator was enjoying some porn on his iPhone during the debate, the committee tried to pin everything on a low-level technical employee. When that failed they terminated the inquiry altogether claiming that once the screen was shut off and everything erased. Therefore no further analysis was possible.
The legislator caught ogling porn during the debate, apologized and blamed it all on some unnamed friend who sent him the photographs that he was struggling to delete when he was discovered.
2. The latest Thai Fashions:
According to Vice.com, in Thailand, braces on ones teeth are becoming a huge teenage fashion statement. Which is pretty strange considering in the West, braces are ruthlessly stigmatized and pretty much a metaphor for adolescent awkwardness.
Braces are considered a sign of wealth, status, and style. The reasoning is fairly straightforward—genuine orthodontic braces are very expensive. In Bangkok, for example, a set of tinsel-teeth will cost you roughly $1200, a substantial sum. So all the kids want to wear these things, because anything worn by the young and rich is obviously super cute. It has gotten so that in some cases the youngsters wear faux braces in order to appear fashionable.
PETRILLO’S COMMENTARY, MOPEY JOE’S MEMORIES, THE NAKED MOLE RAT CHRONICLES and JOEY’S MYSTERY NOVEL:
In For Repairs.
PAPA JOES TALES AND FABLES:
The Parable of the Gazelles and the Lions II:
What! Another Parable?
Well, perhaps not really a parable. It seems that recently I have come across, in various guises the concept that the essential driving force of humanity or at least individual humans following their descent from the safety of the trees to lift their heads above the savannah was; Is it good to eat? Can I have sex with it? And, will it kill me? From these three elemental interests, it has in various ways been argued that our psychology and social arrangements can be deduced.
Now we all may agree that this is a bit simplistic. On the other hand, if we assume that these or some similar urges prompted our remote ancestors to forgo the safety of the trees and take up life on the dangerous grassy world of the savannah, then I maintain there are at least two other impulses that at this important moment marked man from the other fauna around him (more if we were to discuss women, the more subtle gender. But I will leave that for another day.)
The first is the remarkable facility of humans to confuse images with reality and find some utility in it that we call thought or ratiocination. This I also will not discuss here.
The second unique ability of humans is that when they raised their heads above the swaying frond of grass they also thought, “Now, who can I get to bring me my food, procure my sex for me and die instead of me if need be.”
What, you say that it is not separate from the first three but simply a mechanism to deal with them prompted by confusion of metaphors and symbols that we later called thinking. I disagree.
It is distinctly rare in the animal kingdom for any species to behave in that way. Few if any species for example sit around and choose one or more of their members to die for them. Even the noble Naked Mole Rat, when the group faced with a predator too strong to deal with, refuses to send one of their number out to die. Instead one of these heroic, if decidedly ugly, creatures nobly offers himself or herself for the intruders dinner.
Humans do not behave that way. Generally with humans, only someone conditioned by others who prefer not to die will make the ultimate sacrifice and offer himself instead for their benefit.
Take the example of the lions and gazelles sharing the same grassy world as the early humans. The lions are hungry. They stalk the gazelles through the grass. The gazelles see them and run away leaving to the lions the slow of foot, the sick and the lame.
Now suppose for some reason the gazelles are struck with the same sickness as humans and a group of them stop and say to each other. “This is stupid. All this running around so that the slowest get eaten by the lions. It is exhausting, it interferes with our grazing and it is wasteful. Let’s choose someone we do not like very much or is not, you know, really one of us, hamstring him and leave him for the lions.” And so they do just that.
Lo and behold the lions fall upon the surrogate and the gazelles go back to eating the grass.
Now assume this goes on for generations, the lions lose their hunting skills and become fat and lazy. The clever gazelles realize this and begin leaving a little less each feeding time. After a suitable number of generations the lions become little more than the gazelles pets, useless for anything more than scaring other predators off; after all they have little enough of their own food. The gazelles, recognizing a good thing, realize that they do not even have to sacrifice one of their own; they could hamstring a Gnu or a Zebra just as well.
Eventually the lions are controlled and the gazelles increase and eat the savannah grass until almost none is left but a few clumps here and there as the land begins to turn into a desert. The gazelle leaders meet to try to figure out what to do. They decide, reasonably, to reserve the remaining grass for only the leaders. The less successful will have to shift for themselves.
“But,” cries one of the soon to be starving gazelles, “it is us, the gazelles, who turned this paradise into a desert by over eating and over populating it and unless we all, gazelles, lions, gnus and zebras get together and do something all the grass will eventually be gone.”
“Ha,” laughed the gazelle leaders, “do not be ridiculous, gazelles could not be the cause. Why a thousand years ago this land was a desert, then the rains came and the grass grew and the gazelles and the lions came and made the savannah a paradise through the efforts of the leaders who naturally and rightfully should enjoy the remaining grasslands until the rains come again.”
This infuriated the other gazelles and the lions who were listening so much that they attacked the leaders in order to take the remaining stands of grass away from them, but in so doing the ensuing battle destroyed those remaining few tufts grass anyway and the gazelles died and so did the lions.
The richest man who ever lived:
In his book The Haves and the Have Nots, Branko Milanovic tries to discover who was the richest person who has ever lived. Beginning with the loaded Roman triumvir Marcus Crassus, he measures wealth according to the quantity of his compatriots’ labour a rich man could buy. It appears that the richest man to have lived in the past 2000 years is alive today. Carlos Slim could buy the labour of 440,000 average Mexicans. According to Milanovic, this makes him 14 times as rich as Crassus, nine times as rich as Carnegie and four times as rich as Rockefeller.
1. What “Occupy” is all about and what it really wants:
a. Lets start here:
b. Then take a look at this:
c. And perhaps consider the wisdom of the following:
2. Feel the Christian Love:
A Christian women’s prayer group has decided to pray that all the women involved in a liberal organization called MRFF get fast-moving breast cancer.
In a recorded telephone call to MRFF’s president to inform him of their decision, a spokesman for the so-called Christian group said:
“Now for our prayer, we pray that the women who work in your MFRR and the women in your family will befall fast-moving breast cancer which can not ever be cured. …we pray this for Bonnie Wiensten (the MFRR president’s wife) and Amanda and Amber Wienstein (his female children) and the woman lawyers … and all women who work at with for Military Freedom Against Religion Foundation. know that we pray and pray hard all the days until you stop your destruction of our American army and accept Christ Jesus as Lord and join His army.”
Jesus had an army? He prayed for people to die of incurable cancer instead of raising them from the dead? I always suspected that somewhere, sometime the Commies, Muslims or Obama got hold of the Christian bible and took out all the good parts.
Please see the blog: http://papajoestales.wordpress.com/
Pookie’s statement to the No Party Party Party regarding Defense spending:
“It is time we spend our defense money on defending our country not defending other countries. I propose using the defense budget to build a 20 foot wall entirely around the US with only a few easily secured gates, none of which opens on to Mexico. Then I would pass a national “Stand your Ground” law that would authorize any American citizen to shoot anyone he believes is a threat to American security. In this way we can increase our homeland security and reduce the Defense budget at the same time. No one can defend America as well as its well armed citizenry carrying concealed weapons.”
A. Louis C.K.:
B. Kitten Natividad star of “Eroticise”:
“Any guy who says he doesn’t like a pair of plastic tits can go fuck himself.”
Now some of you may ask what is a statement like that doing in a family publication like this. Well, it is here for two reasons. The first is to see if you have actually read this far. The second is to highlight the sheer brilliance of Ms Natividad’s observation.
The magnitude of the commonplace acceptance by modern society of plastic mammaries and vibrators (of which I mentioned in my previous post) as well as availability of artificial insemination have altered the method of species procreation and nurturing greater than at any time since over 115 million years ago during the Mesozoic era when nature discovered the superior benefits of gestation of progeny within the body rather than inside an egg. As a result I believe this is clear evidence that we may have come to the end of the Holocene Epoch on earth, the era of the rise of mammals to dominance.
Couple that with the observation that one of the primary thrusts of evolution, in order to enhance a species ability to efficiently maximize its acquisition of energy and survival of offspring, is the ability to efficiently move about. Humans no longer need to travel the woods nor walk through the rows of ripening crops in search of sustenance. In the beginning we domesticated a few other mammals to assist our mobility, then we developed and made extensive use of artificial mechanical means of movement. Now, however, most of us pursue our energy needs sitting in a chair for 8 or so hours a day.
Recently we have progressed to creating perhaps the first symbiotic entity capable of acquiring most of our various energy needs; a symbiont between several organic beings, waves of radiated energy and a few wires and metal. We soon may no longer need to move at all.
Given the 2 to 3 hundred thousand years it takes evolution to produce significant changes to organic beings, we may see in that future that humanity becomes a species rooted to a place like a vegetable but still able to travel and experience the universe on the wings of energy waves. What we may be experiencing today is not just a change in epoch but the end of the Quaternary Period and the beginning of the fifth period of the earth. I guess it could all be considered a bit like the end of the Third Age of Middle Earth.
I am sure that the academics of that future time will look back and discovering Kitten Natividad’s observation marvel at its prescience and consider her one of the seminal minds of humanity since it is evidently true that whoever “doesn’t like a pair of plastic tits,” will undoubtedly have to “go fuck himself.” And we all know where on the road to evolutionary adaptability that inevitably ends up.
- Are you a lion or gazelle? (fitfor365.wordpress.com)