Posts Tagged With: Malaysia

This and that from re Thai r ment, by 3Th. 1 Capt. Coast 0008 (April 20, 2019)


“[R]estraint is a sign of weakness.”
Giordano, Mario. Auntie Poldi and the Vineyards of Etna (An Auntie Poldi Adventure Book 2). HMH Books.






Joy! Auntie Poldi has returned — finally (See Book Report below). I cannot resist posting here the magnificently exuberant and perhaps shameless bit of overwriting with which the author begins his novel:

“Although in the past few months Poldi had temporarily thwarted death thanks to solving her handyman Valentino’s murder, her romantic encounter with Vito Montana (Polizia di Stato’s chief inspector in charge of homicide cases), her friendship with her neighbours Valérie and sad Signora Cocuzza, my aunts’ efforts and, last but not least, her own love of the chase, we all know the way of the world: peace reigns for a while, the worst seems to be over, the sun breaks through the clouds, the future beckons once more, your cigarette suddenly tastes good again, the air hums with life and the whole world becomes a congenial place pervaded by whispers of great things to come. A simply wonderful, wonderful, universally familiar sensation. And then, like a bolt from the blue, pow! Not that anyone has seen it coming, but the wind changes. Fate empties a bucket of excrement over your head, chuckling as it does so, and all you can think is “Wow, now I really need a drink!” And the whole shitty process starts again from scratch. So it was no wonder my aunts became alarmed when Poldi still had no running water after two weeks and Lady was murdered. No doubt about it, the wind had changed and the ice was growing steadily thinner.”
Giordano, Mario. Auntie Poldi and the Vineyards of Etna (An Auntie Poldi Adventure Book 2). HMH Books.

It is Saturday morning and time for the weekly Saturday Morning Coffee Hour at the Nepenthe Club House. The Club House is nestled in a corner of the Enchanted Forest a short distance from our home. Under a bleak sky, Naida and I walked there along the meandering pathways that run beneath the flowering trees and bushes — I, leaning heavily on my fake shillelagh cane, and Naida gaily reciting some long poem by Longfellow or now and then breaking out into a few stanzas of song.

By the time we arrived, I had become so dizzy from the exertion of the walk, I plopped down on the sofa in the hope that the merry-go-round in my head would soon subside. Naida busied herself assembling coffee and various pastries.

Sitting around on a circle of chairs were the usual attendees at these weekly get-togethers: the Leader of course, the spy, Billie the cute woman, the artist, Big Bill, the short-haired lady, Good Old Dave who looks like someone named Dave should look, Silent Gordon, Jan who selflessly scuttles around making sure the place is set up and we all have our coffee and name tags, and a few others. The woman who suffers from what appears to be CP arrived a bit later and settled herself by the large fireplace.

When we all were in place with our coffee and pastry, our leader, Ginnie, rang the little bell she carries around with her and began making her announcements — where this months TGIF would be held, the date of the Take Me Out to the Ballgame Party, and various other housekeeping items. She then announced it was Jan and Good Old Dave’s birthdays. Jan brought out a cake and we all sang Happy Birthday. Then with the announcements over everyone got down to talking to one another other except for Young Silent Gordon who stared morosely at the floor and me.

I decided to slowly examine the other attendees in an effort to understand better why I am beginning to become so fond of these Saturday morning gatherings. I did not reach any conclusion on that but I did notice that Billie the Cute Woman seemed to be the most fashionably dressed, from her patent leather flats, to her tight black leather pants, to her poncho-like black and white buttonless jacket, black sweater, and large golden outline of a heart hanging from a chain around her neck. Her fingernails were colored a light gold to match her jewelry. The rest of us were dressed in sports or casual outfits except for Naida who sported a smashing tight multi-colored blouse.

Good Old Dave told us his father owned the historic hotel in Murphy’s. Naida told him about a book she had read, The Black Sun of the Miwok, a collection of six stories about the deaths of the last six Miwok in the area, one of which tales was set in the hotel. Unfortunately, the book is no longer in print after several Native-American groups objected to it because it focuses on how the miners and settlers ridiculed the death and suffering of those individuals.

Sunday — the wet weather departed for a day or two restored the sun to the sky, cleared the air and drove the annual Great Valley spring pollen assault into hiding. The flowering bushes and trees in the backyard are in full bloom.
IMG_6079 - Version 2
Backyard in Full Bloom.


Monday morning — it is hydration day. I sit in my comfortable reclining chair typing this while saline solution slowly drips into my arm. The sun is out. Naida hard at work on her computer prepares the version of her memoir that will be sent to the printers. The dog, freshly bathed, naps on the chair next to me. What’s not to like?

On Tuesday, my urologist informed me my plumbing showed no immediate threats to my current existence. I ate a hot dog and drank a root-beer float for lunch. After lunch, I washed the car. I apologize, but as one approaches 80 years of age, days like this are what passes for excitement. I look forward to tomorrow. I get my hearing tested.

I got my hearing tested and ordered new hearing aids this morning. This made me happy. At my age, it does not take much to make me happy. I also saw it all as a bit of adventure. For we Vecchi, little things often seem more significant than they are — sort of like a form of Alice in Wonderland Syndrome (AiWS). In addition to finding little things a big deal, I now often see minor events as great adventures. On the other hand, perhaps, I always did.

After my adventure with the certified audiologist, I drove into the Golden Hills, now a lovely green due to all the spring rains. The sun was out and the clouds were bunched up high on the Sierras like Miracle Whip on an ice cream Sunday. I picked up HRM and the Scooter Gang, Jake, Caleb, and Hamza at the Skatepark. After a brief stop at Dick’s house for some mysterious reason, I then dropped them off at Caleb’s — but not before urging them not to get into too much trouble although listening to them talk it seems they are well into the adolescent we versus them syndrome. Yes, I worry. Teenage alienation is not just a fact of life but also a concern for the adults involved.

This morning while I was lying in bed trying to decide if it was worth getting up, my eyes fell on a small red diary that lay among the books littering the floor at the side of my bed. I had kept this diary way back in 1960. Strangely, given the number of times in my life when I rid myself of everything I had accumulated, it is one of the two things I have retained from more than a few years ago. How it survived for almost 60 years I do not know.

The diary details an almost one-year relationship I had with a woman. Strangely, the woman’s name does not appear in the diary. I was clearly in love with her, at least as much as a callow 19-year-old can be, and perhaps she was in love with me also. Alas, like most of us at that age, I believed I knew all that I needed to know about life and love.

We met in January and our relationship ended the following December. According to the diary, much of my preoccupation that year was the conflict, in my mind at least, between my affection for her and my anguish over the fact that she had a three-year-old child and was Jewish. While in retrospect, I could berate myself for my shallowness, but this happened almost 60 years ago and I had lived my life until then within a relatively closed Catholic Italian-immigrant society and had little experience with much outside that culture. But that is not what I pondered this morning. You see, I had no recollection of that year, not her, not my name, not my anguish — not anything.

If someone does not remember something does that mean it does not exist? Does it then return to existence if one suddenly recalls it? Does everything we experience somehow exist in our subconscious or some configuration of our neurons? I spent perhaps an hour this morning contemplating those questions until the dog started barking at the garbage truck as it passed by on its rounds and I began to feel a desperate need for my morning coffee.

On Friday, I, once again drove into the Golden (Green?) Hills to pick up HRM and Jake. H told me his mom did not want him traveling with me during his spring break, We had planned a trip to Portland to visit Naida’s son who works assisting a noted sculptor, Bruce West, another Naida relative. There he was to be introduced to high-quality welding, something he was eager to learn. After that, we had planned to travel to Sun Valley Idaho so that he could get in a day or two snowboarding. Then a few days at a large cattle range in Montana with other relatives. Alas, H is now a latch key kid, forced to spend his vacation bunking with Jake at his family’s house.

Sunday came around. I do not recall what happened Saturday. Not very much I assume. Perhaps I slept most of the day. Anyway, On Sunday morning we received a call from Sarah, Naida’s daughter. She was suffering from an overabundance of Cala Lilies growing in her backyard and urged us to come over right away and take some. So, after a stop to buy a vase large enough to accommodate the flowers, we arrived at Sarah’s home and proceeded to the backyard where in addition to the Cala lilies, irises, roses and a host of other flowers were in bloom. Sarah’s husband Mark busily pushed a hand-held mechanical plow through the ground in order to begin the planting for this summer’s vegetable garden. Then we all retired to the deck and had an enjoyable lunch.
The Backyard
Drinks on the Deck with Sarah and Naida


The Cala Lillies at Home




Under a sunny sky, we left for SF. That evening at Peter and Barrie’s house, Judy, who lives across the street and is my most consistently responsive Facebook friend brought over two framed photographs of Peter and I sitting on the “geezer bench” in front of Bernie’s coffee shop that she made from a Facebook post of mine. Barrie again prepared a tasty meal this time featuring spaghetti with clams.

The next morning we left for my appointment at the hospital for my immunotherapy treatment. The doctor gave me the most ambiguously optimistic opinion I have received since my original oncologist opined that the swelling in my neck was nothing to be concerned about. He told us that the CT scan I had taken that morning showed some shrinkage in the tumor and he could not tell if it was now scar tissue caused by the previous radiation treatment or not but may be inactive. He also explained that chemotherapy does not cure cancer and the immunotherapy program I am starting on helps the body’s immune system to fight reactivation of cancer.

After the treatment we returned to Peter and Barrie’s home where Barrie prepared a delicious anchovy, garlic and parsley spread from a recipe of Leo’s mother.

Who is Leo?

The next morning I woke up and realized the aches, pains and general malaise caused by the side effects of chemotherapy are gone replaced by the sniffles, runny nose, itches and the normal aches and pains of life and age.

After breakfast, we left and returned to the Enchanted Forest.


We arrived back in the Enchanted Forest at about 1PM. After a brief rest, I took Boo-boo for a walk. During the three days we have been away, spring has given way to summer. The fruit trees have shed their flowers and the camellias are gone. The branches of the deciduous trees sport their new shiny green leaves. We stopped at the small community center with the tiny pool and sat in the sun. It was perhaps the first day it has been open for swimming. There were two families there, an elderly couple in swimsuits taking in the sun and a mother and her three young children playing and shouting in the pool, The dog and I sat there under a cloudless blue sky and enjoyed the doings in the pool. I felt good but a little sad that swimming was out for me for a long time.
D. BOOK REPORT: Auntie Poldi and the Vineyards of Etna (An Auntie Poldi Adventure Book 2) by Mario Giordano.


I have just finished reading the second installment in the series of my current book crush, The Adventures of Auntie Poldi. Although purporting to be detective stories, I, frankly, do not recall who was killed or why in either of the two novels of the series I have read so far. Nor can I claim they are great or even good literature. So, what attracts me to these books?

Perhaps it is Auntie Poldi herself, a lusty sixty-year-old German woman who had married a Sicilian immigrant to Bavaria and who after his death retired to her husband’s ancestral town on the slopes of Mt Etna there to “drink herself to death with a view of the sea.” Poldi wears a wig, dresses usually in brightly colored caftans, enthusiastically and vigorously enjoys sex, and as the daughter of a Bavarian chief of detectives is compulsively drawn to solving crimes, photographing cute policemen in uniform and bedding dusky and hunky Sicilian detectives (well one in particular). The quotation from the novel with which I began this post may give a glimpse of Poldi, herself.

On the other hand, Poldi was a woman of strong opinions as well as strong appetites. As she explained to her nephew whom she had appointed to be the Watson to her Holmes:

“I’ve never been devout,” she explained later before I could query this in surprise because I knew that Poldi harbored a fundamental aversion to the Church. “I’m spiritual but not devout, know what I mean? I’ve never had much time for the Church. The mere thought of it infuriates me. The males-only organizations, the pope, the original-sin malarkey, the inhibited cult of the Virgin Mary, the false promises of redemption, the proselytism, the misogyny, the daft words of the psalms and hymns. Mind you, I’ve always liked the tunes. I always enjoyed chanting in the ashram, you know. I screwed every hippie in the temple of that Kali sect in Nevada, I’ve meditated in Buddhist monasteries, and I believe in reincarnation and karma and all that, likewise in people’s essential goodness. I don’t know if there’s a god and if he’s got something against sex and unbelievers, but I can’t help it, I’m Catholic. It’s like malaria: once you’ve got it you never get rid of it, and sooner or later you go and make peace with it.”
Giordano, Mario. Auntie Poldi and the Vineyards of Etna (An Auntie Poldi Adventure Book 2). HMH Books.


On the other hand, perhaps it is the authors alter ego himself, Poldi’s 34-year-old unmarried nephew, the narrator in the books, a self-described but inept author who works at a call center in Bavaria. He has been attempting to write the great Bavarian novel for years now but seems to have only recently gotten inspired to write the first four chapters the last of which he enthusiastically describes in a blaze of overwriting:

“I was in full flow. I was the adjective ace, the metaphor magician, the sorcerer of the subordinate clause, the expresser of emotions, the master of a host of startling but entirely plausible turns of events. The whole of my fourth chapter had been completed within a week. I was a paragon of self-discipline and inspiration, the perfect symbiosis of Germany and Italy. I was a Cyclops of the keyboard. I was Barnaba. All I lacked was a nymph, but my new Sicilian styling would soon change that.”
Giordano, Mario. Auntie Poldi and the Vineyards of Etna (An Auntie Poldi Adventure Book 2) . HMH Books.


He found himself periodically called to Sicily to reside in an attic room in Poldi’s house whenever the Sicilian relatives believed Poldi was skating on the thin edge of reality or Poldi herself needing someone to beguile and complain to demanded his return.

Or perhaps, it is the denizens of my beloved Sicily like the three aunts fascinated, often shocked, and at times participants in Poldi’s escapades. Or her partners in crime, so to speak, sad Carmina and the local priest. Or, Poldi’s French friend, Valerie her forlorn nephews love interest who Poldi steadfastly refuses to allow him to meet.

“For Valérie, like Poldi, happiness possessed a simple binary structure, and the whole of human existence was suspended between two relatively distant poles. Between heaven and hell, love and ignorance, responsibility and recklessness, splendour and scuzz, the essential and the dispensable. And within this dual cosmic structure there existed only two kinds of people: the deliziosi and the spaventosi, the charming and the frightful. Rule of thumb: house guests, friends and dogs are always deliziosi, the rest are spaventosi. At least until they prove otherwise.”

“‘You see,’ Poldi told me once, ‘Valérie has understood that happiness is a simple equation. Happiness equals reality minus expectation.’”
Giordano, Mario. Auntie Poldi and the Vineyards of Etna (An Auntie Poldi Adventure Book 2) . HMH Books.


Or perhaps it is just that I am a child of Sicily, have lived as well as visited many times and loved that large rocky Island whose citizens have suffered almost two thousand five hundred years of continuous occupation by a host of invaders— Greeks, Carthaginians, Romans, Visigoths, Byzantines, Arabs, Normans, Germans, French, Spanish, Bourbons, Nazi’s, and even British and Americans. Where the inhabitants were considered so irrelevant by their foreign overlords their cities, unlike the rest of Europe, were built without defensive walls. Where the people are reticent with strangers but boisterous and generous with friends and family, where Bella figura reigns, the cuisine is wonderful, people speak in gestures and revel in the mores of their medieval culture and where “Being Sicilian is a question of heart, not genes” (Giordano, Mario. Auntie Poldi and the Vineyards of Etna, An Auntie Poldi Adventure Book 2. HMH Books.)

Whatever, the reasons for my own enjoyment of the books,

Pookie says you should check them out, after all, as Auntie Poldi advises:

“Moderation is a sign of weakness.”
Giordano, Mario. Auntie Poldi and the Vineyards of Etna (An Auntie Poldi Adventure Book 2). HMH Books.





A. Tuckahoe Joe’s Blog of the Week:
Another snag from Brad Delong’s Grasping Reality with Three Hands (, this time an outline of a paper he wrote entitled Economics, Identity, and the Democratic Recession: Talking Points. I have included here that portion of the outline dealing with Economic Populism.

I would like to draw a sharp distinction between:

On the one hand, populists: who have a coherent theory about how the market economy is rigged against ordinary people by an upper class and have practical plans for policies to fix it;
On the other hand, a different group: a group who believe that a true people, among whom some are rich and some are poor, are being deceived culturally, sociologically, and economically by internal and external enemies, and need to follow a leader or leaders who have no patience with established constitutional powers and procedures to point out to them who their internal and external enemies are.
It is this second set of movements—true people-based, leader-based, enemy-based, that has been by far the most powerful since the breaking of the real populist movement before 1900 by the hammer of racism: the discovery that a large enough chunk of the populists potential base were easily grifted by a white identity-politics assignment of the “enemy“ role to African-Americans.
Powerful both in America and—except for when under the shadow of Soviet threat—in Western Europe since the day Benito Mussolini recognized that rich Italians who liked order would not fund Benito’s socialist movement, but would gladly fund Benito’s “we are stronger together, for a bundle of sticks tied together with leather thongs is strong even though each individual stick is weak“ movement.
Today looks to me like nothing that special: Recall:

Harding and Coolidge, Taft and Nixon, Goldwater, Nixon, and Buchanan:
Harding and Coolidge’s mobilization of the revived Klan and of nativism against blacks and immigrants to geld progressivism in the 1920s.
Taft and Nixon’s mobilizing McCarthy against the communistic New Deal at the end of the 1940s.
Goldwater’s transformation of the Republican Party from the party of upward mobility and those who believe they have something to gain from economic growth and creative distraction to the party of those who believe they have something to lose if uppity Negroes and the overly educated overly clever are not kept in their place.
Richard Nixon’s idea to drag out the Vietnam war for four more years at the cost of 40,000 American and 3 million Vietnamese lives. Why? So that he and Pat Buchanan can break the country in half, but with him getting the bigger half—until enough Republicans plus Mark Felt of the FBI were sick of him and willing to help bring him down.
How is today different? Possibilities:
Concentration of the easily-grifted, somehow the internet, Rupert the Kingmaker, the Gingrich model, unlock:
Tyler Cowen’s observation: 20% of the population have always been crazy— easily grifted by some variant of white identity politics—but they used to be evenly divided between the two parties and now they are concentrated in one.
Somehow the internet.
Blowback from Rupert Murdoch’s insight that if you could scare the piss out of all the people you could glue their eyes to your product and then make money by selling them fake diabetes cures and overpriced gold funds.
Rupert the Kingmaker: In the fifteenth century the marcher Earldom of Warwick was uniquely able to mobilize those in the affinity of Earl Richard for the battlefield—and so became known as “Warwick the Kingmaker”. There are analogies here…
The Gingrich model: We now have two generations of Republican politicians who believe that technocratic policy development is for suckers, and then what do you need are:
tax cuts for the rich,
regulatory rollback,
perhaps a short victorious war or two, plus
Whatever culture war currently resonates with the base—notice that “women need to stay in the kitchen and the bedroom“ and “we need to shun homosexuals“ have passed their sell-by date, but transsexuals and anyone who fails to shout “merry Christmas” every five minutes between Halloween and New Years are still fair game.
Or perhaps we have simply been unlucky—and we had gotten used to luck running in our favor:
Otto von Bismarck, perhaps: “a special providence watches over drunkards, fools, and the United States of America”…


B. Trenz Pruca’s Observations:
Too much happiness is a precarious state, it eventually leads to anxiety.
C. Today’s Poem:


Considering the current fear and anguish over migration, refugees, and asylum seekers, I thought it would be interesting to see what Homer may have thought about it over three thousand years ago.

Homer, Odyssey 6.205-210

“We live at a great distance from others amid the much-sounding sea,
Far way, and no other mortals visit us.
But this man who has wandered here, who is so ill-starred,
It is right to care for him now. For all are from Zeus,
The strangers and the beggars, and our gift is small but dear to them.
Come, handmaidens, give the stranger food and drink;
Bathe him in the river, where there is shelter from the wind.”

οἰκέομεν δ’ ἀπάνευθε πολυκλύστῳ ἐνὶ πόντῳ,
ἔσχατοι, οὐδέ τις ἄμμι βροτῶν ἐπιμίσγεται ἄλλος.
ἀλλ’ ὅδε τις δύστηνος ἀλώμενος ἐνθάδ’ ἱκάνει,
τὸν νῦν χρὴ κομέειν· πρὸς γὰρ Διός εἰσιν ἅπαντες
ξεῖνοί τε πτωχοί τε, δόσις δ’ ὀλίγη τε φίλη τε.
ἀλλὰ δότ’, ἀμφίπολοι, ξείνῳ βρῶσίν τε πόσιν τε,
λούσατέ τ’ ἐν ποταμῷ, ὅθ’ ἐπὶ σκέπας ἔστ’ ἀνέμοιο.”

D. Readings from the Mueller Report:


In a section related to episodes involving the president and possible obstruction of justice, Mueller’s team explains how it “determined not to make a traditional prosecutorial judgment.” But the special counsel’s team also said it was unable to definitively conclude that Trump did not commit obstruction of justice:

“Apart from OLC’s constitutional view, we recognized that a federal criminal accusation against a sitting President would place burdens on the President’s capacity to govern and potentially preempt constitutional processes for addressing presidential misconduct … The evidence we obtained about the President’s actions and intent presents difficult issues that would need to be resolved if we were making a traditional prosecutorial judgment. At the same time, if we had confidence after a thorough investigation of the facts that the President clearly did not commit obstruction of justice, we would so state. Based on the facts and the applicable legal standards, we are unable to reach that judgment. Accordingly, while this report does not conclude that the President committed a crime, it also does not exonerate him.”







“You have imposter syndrome,” He says, “but paradoxically, that’s often a sign of competence. Only people who understand their work well enough to be intimidated by it can be terrified by their own ignorance. It’s the opposite of Dunning-Kruger syndrome, where the miserably incompetent think they’re on top of the job because they don’t understand it.”
Stross, Charles. The Labyrinth Index (Laundry Files) (Kindle Location 4514). Tom Doherty Associates.










Categories: April through June 2019, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

This and that from re Thai r ment, by 3Th. September 23, 2010

Today’s factoid:

1501 The German botanist Leonhard Fuchs was born. He compiled the first modern glossary of botanical terms. The color fuchsia is named in honor of him.

(Lenny died of embarrassment.)

Today’s Quote:

“The test of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have much it is whether we provide enough for those who have little.”
Franklin D. Roosevelt

News from Thailand:

The Bangkok Post recently pointed out that the growth rate of Thailand’s tourist industry has fallen behind that of its competitors in the area. Their tourism growth rates often more than doubled that of Thailand.

These countries were also more aggressively pursuing and more successful in attracting retirees and those foreigners wishing to own real property or to open a small business. On the other hand, Thailand’s visa and property ownership rules have become ever more cumbersome and restrictive.

Malaysia offers simple long-term visas (as much as 10 years and property ownership to foreigners, Cambodia welcomes small foreign owner businesses and Borneo, has begun to surpass Thailand as a location for foreigners wishing to retire as well as for those interested in setting up small businesses.

Petrillo’s response:

Some of you after reading my last email have asked whether there was anyone notable bearing the Petrillo name who was not a criminal or suffered a tragic death,

Actually, I had been looking through the internet to find a positive model to use in a semi-autobiographical fable I was planning to write for a blog.

I could only turn up three.

One was Sophia Petrillo who was played by Estelle Getty in “The Golden Girls” television series. Sophia was the Bea Arthur character’s mother. Unfortunately, she was a fictional character and anyway she was reputed to have burned down the retirement home before moving to Miami to live with her daughter and friends. (There was an August Petrillo who at the time the show was popular was the racist mayor of Mount Vernon N.Y., a city I lived in briefly, but he was not the role model I had in mind.)

There was also James Caesar Petrillo, the head of the musicians union from the 1930’s until the 60’s. There was a band shell in Chicago named for him. That had some promise.

And then there was some guy named Petrillo from Pennsylvania who wrote a book called “The Ghost Towns of North Mountain.”

I could perhaps use as a model the pretty musician named Petrillo that was the plaything of the Prince of Tuscany, but I don’t do costume dramas.

On the other hand I could possibly revise his story to make it more contemporary.

In that case the story might go something like this:

Ferdinando, “Freddy Megs” Medici, the dissolute son of Vincent, “Vinnie the Hump” Medici a well-known Mafiosi, one day decided that he wanted to be a producer and manager of rock bands and using his father’s money started doing so.

Francis “Franny” Petrillo was the back-up Bass guitarist of the band “Pepperoni Suicide” that was managed by Freddy Megs. Franny was the product of a series of abusive foster parent situations. He was also an exceptionally pretty boy and Freddy Megs fell for him, hard.They began an affair.

Since the homophobic mafioso leadership frowned on such things, Freddy Megs kept his dalliance with Franny very secret. He also had very public affairs with women that convinced most of those that knew him that Megs was no finocchio. Anyway he was not yet a made man so something like this if it did get out could always be considered just a youthful indiscretion.

Freddy Megs promised Franny that one day he would have his own band.

Unbeknownst to Franny, Freddy Megs was also having an affair with a transsexual drummer in a punk grunge Dyke band called The Bloody Rags, also managed by Megs. The drummer’s name was Melanie.

When Franny found out about Melanie he became very jealous and decided to do away with her. He rigged up her drums to burst into flames when Melanie struck them in a certain way.

And so, at the concert where the Bloody Rags were performing, Melanie’s drums burst into flames on cue. Unfortunately for Franny, Melanie escaped without a scratch and the pyrotechnics were so well received by the audience that the Bloody Rags incorporated it into their act and as a result became famous. Melanie and the band, now insanely popular, promptly hired a more successful manager then Megs and took off for a tour of Europe, leaving Megs pissed off and Franny temporarily happy.

Freddy Megs soon grew tired of the music business, sold off his bands, told Franny it was over between them and joined an artist community in Taos.

Franny distraught and hoping to punish Megs with guilt, then hung himself from a telephone pole by the E-string of his favorite guitar, right outside the door of Freddy Megs house .

Unbeknownst to Franny, Freddy Megs had already moved to New Mexico and had sold the house to Franny’s long-lost father, a mega-millionaire who had made his money as Bernie Madoff’s silent partner.

His father coming out of his house in the morning to meet with his lawyers because he was under indictment for his association with Madoff, seeing Franny hanging there promptly dies of a heart attack leaving all his money to Franny. Since Franny is already dead the money goes to the alternative beneficiary in the will, a non-profit dedicated to reprogramming gay artists.

Eat your heart out Charlie Dickens wherever you are.


Categories: July 2010 through September 2010 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

THIS AND THAT FROM re Thai r ment. February 22, 2010

Just in case there are those of you whose lives are so bereft of interest and are wondering about the hiatus of emails from me, or as Cuzin Irwin (who always has his way with words if with little else) feared that I was wandering “bahtless in Thailand”, I am pleased to report that I have made it back from Malaysia with my limbs intact. I spent 5 days in Kuala Lumpur wrestling with visa issues and three days in Bangkok wrestling with other things.

Unless someone desperate for information about Malaysia requests more, I will provide only the following:

1. most people speak English (a benefit of colonialism).
2. The public transportation system is great. 3.If you ever are in KL, go to the Malaysia Tourism Center. Not only is it an interesting site, and the people there can help with almost any question you may have, but it is the best place in KL that I could find for free wifi access.
4. Todays photos show me dramatically looking up the wrong way in front of the previously designated world’s tallest buildings. Actually I am looking dramatically up at another KL skyline icon, the Space Needley thing in the next photograph.

As for the three days I spent in Bangkok they were well, three days in Bangkok. I did manage to take Hayden on a tour of the putrid BKK canals by “rooster tail” boat as shown in the third enclosed photo. He is holding my glasses and hat that he insisted on doing because as he explained, otherwise I would only lose them. I do not know whether to be pleased at his sagacity and consideration or pissed about it.

Ciao for now….


Sunday February 14, 2010 7PM

Yesterday morning I listed the things I had failed or forgotten to do or had simply screwed up. Add to that the failure to check that Monday is Chinese New Year and if the Thai Embassy is open. It is not.
My email to Nikki today sums it up:


Shit, shit and more shit. The Thai embassy is closed tomorrow because of Chinese New Year. That means that I have to spend another day here and return to  BKK on the evening of the17th and travel to Chiang Mia on the afternoon of the 18th. The good news is that my return ticket costs only about 5000 baht The bad news is my room costs another 1500 baht and my expenses increase about 500 baht. So I break even. The good news is by the 18th I certainly will have my SS check deposited in the bank. The bad news is I have to stay another day. The good news is Hayden can stay another day with his mother. The bad news is that Hayden can stay another day with his mother. The good news is that I do not have to face Natalie for another day. The bad news is that I look like a fucking idiot.

This evening I checked on my bank account balance. It shows a 600 ringgit decrease from yesterday (1900 to 1300). How did that happen? I did not draw anything out. Did the bank deduct my medicare? something else??? Shit again.

Add to that that I changed my telephone card so that I can make calls from here to Thailand and overseas. I failed to transfer my contact numbers and they appear to be lost until I return to Thailand. I found Nikki’s in my email and he gave me Natalie’s. I still do not have Tai’s.
I will not make my return reservations until Tuesday morning after I beg the Embassy staff to process my visa in one day. Lots of luck (LOL???). By waiting the tuesday flight will probably be booked as well as Wednesday and probably Thursday also. The Tuesday ticket cost is 7500 baht. I have 8000 baht left in my account after drawing out 5000 tonight for safety.

Shit, I made another mistake. Each night is $45 that computes to about 150 ringgits a night or 600 ringgits for all 4 nights that translates to about 6000 baht. If my flight to BKK costs 6000 baht then I have only 1000 baht or 100 ringgits for food and transportation through Thursday. It can not be done. If I beg the Counsel to process in one day and succeed then my flight to BKK costs 7500 baht and my room only 4500. One os 12000 baht and the other is also 12000 baht. But expenses are less. Then what happens in BKK???

Tuesday, February 16 2010 7:30 PM

Well I made another mistake, oversight or fuck up whatever. I got to the Thai Consulate almost on time but when I got to the counter the clerk informed me that I needed a photograph to accompany my application and if I did not return by 1PM today I would have to start the process tomorrow. I flew from the building and after refusing the offer of a gypo cab driver to drive me to a shopping center and wait for me and drive me back, I hustled off to find a shopping center with an open photoshop (the first I saw was closed for Chinese New Year), cursing all the way and melting in the heat. I found one and took a metered taxi back (Mr. Gypo was not too unreasonable I found out) in time to submit my application that they said will be ready at two thirty tomorrow afternoon when we will have to “que-up”.

Last night I was furious with Nikki after he told me that he gave in to Natalie on the school tuition and that he will give her the money instead of paying directly. This convinced me that I had to make preparations to leave Hayden since we have lost control over his education and our planned budget to Natalie who will only mean that all expenses will be those dictated by her so that she can steal. I can only survive on a strict budget now and this will not be it.

I am also convinced that my reduced intake of my psyco-pharma medicines are having the effect of turning me back into the raving lunatic that I was before starting on them, thank God. I hope now I will no longer be the agreeable simpering idiot I had become and will be more likely to push back and scare people like Natalie.

I am also angry at Tai for being unwilling to assist me on the visa as for the other reasons mentioned here above. I am thinking of moving to some place like Krabi alone. My budget then will include enough to pay for periodic massages to replace the medicines. Maybe after a while, I will move from Thailand. Need wifi though.

Am more and more obsessed with Transexuals. Unfortunately, I could not afford to meet either of those I had contacted here in KL. I wonder what it means. Sex is only massage. It can be provided by human, beast or inanimate object with equal effectiveness. It is only a matter of taste.However, I feel no urging for sexual relationship with men. If fact I remain unable to see any sexual attractiveness in men. On the other hand women with dicks turn me on. Go figure.

Wednesday February 17, 2010 10 AM

Got up late (8:30 AM). Brushed teeth but d/n shower. Rushed to eat breakfast. Back to room, finish packing. Check out. CC accepted. means I have 450 ringgit (4500 baht) available. Happy times. Does that mean check in or bank carry? Stay tuned.

Left hotel, walked to subway, went to next station, walked to Malaysia Tourist Center where I am now. Decided not to answer Nikki’s email until I return to CM. Still in a burn about it, Natalie and Tai. Will go to Consulate at 1-1:30 to get on line for visa. Then to airport.

2:30 AM

It is amazing how I can allow myself to get into things like this. Got visa went to airport. flew to BKK. Called Natalie. Said I will get hotel for night. Called Tai. She sounded annoyed. Said where should I stay? Got taxi to Swan. She was outside. Said I do not want to be seen going into hotel. Checked in. Called. She said she will be over in a while, did I want dinner? Said no. She came with brother. Brother left. She said she will get me MacDonald big Mac. Left with 1000 baht from me. Showered. Went to bed. Waited, playing with computer 2 hour. She arrived with cold food, no straw for coke. She said she was going to see a friend downstairs. Took my lighter and left. Called one hour later said wanted to go drinking with friend. Will be back. Has not returned. I feel stupid and embarrassed. How could I have ever believed her or feel guilty that I was playing with her? Could Natalie have been right all along? God forbid. Not that she had been right but that she had not lied. Ah, tomorrow will be another day.

February 19 2019 7PM

And actually it is another two days. Got up Thursday, checked out and checked in at the Honey Hotel. T. called said she was waiting for me because she could not get into my room. Pointed out 1. I would have heard it if she knocked 2, She could have called and 3. the room was unlocked until I checked out. Silence. Said she was coming to Honey right away. She arrived. We got naked. I sucked her nipples awhile than ate her for a long time. Sweet. She said, “you are driving me wild”. Tried to enter. Too soft. Ate some more. Tried again same result. Fingered her for awhile. Then we held each other. She jerked me off. That was sweet also. I wanted her to suck me but she demurred. “It’s been too long”. she said. “You’ve forgotten what I taught you?” I joked. Showered. She left, agreeing to meet that night and spent the night together.

Natalie called. Said, “we are bringing Hayden over to spend the night with you”. So they did, not Natalie but two other women. And so it was Hayden and I played with the computer and went to bed. T and I agreed to see what we could do on Friday.

Today came. Hayden and I awoke. Natalie had said that we should go to Aquarium today and that I should take Hayden to Dentist (and pay of course) on Saturday and make reservations to fly to CM after his appointment (I pay again)

Went to aquarium. Asked Tai to meet her there. Hayden had been introduced to her as “Auntie Chicken” in an attempt to spare us all from Natalie’s wrath. Had great time at aquarium. Left. Met Tai. Gave her 15000 baht for air conditioner. Took skytrain to river. Took “Rooster Tail” to canals and to snake farm. Had an awful zoo. Some animals sick. After return Tai went home and we returned to Honey Hotel. Tried to make reservations for flight to CM on Nok Air. Card declined. Called Nat. She said that I had to give her 5000 baht for maid, 10,000 baht for electrician beside others. I said Nikki gave you an additional 10000 baht for H. trip back to CM, his dental appt. and the maid. Heated discussion on her part. Said will meet at Robinson’s in 25 min to get money and take H to shower. H. wanted to go to pool. Cried. Called Nat. Adamant on 25 min.

Went to ATM. Card w/n work. N. arrived. Told her about card. She threatened to have H. live in BKK and “send me back to US”. Left.

Returned to Hotel. Talked to Nikki. Nat had called him. Lot of talk.

Called BoW. Got hold lifted. Card worked in ATM, but not for reservation. Will try again.

Spoke with Tai. Bought a Pizza. Will try to make reservation now.

Saturday, February 20, 2010, 11 PM

Back in Chiang Mai. Cannot sleep despite exhaustion. Look forward to returning to schedule. Appear to have blocked out end of yesterday and most of today. Am beginning to feel effects of not taking my Prozac. Need to go to pharmacy tomorrow.
Hayden did not want to sleep in his own bed tonight so is sleeping next to me. Want to smoke a cigar. HMM, getting addicted? Trying to think of things to write. Cannot. G’night.


From Irwin:

welcome back to the living! it should have been, “bahtless in bangkok” not “bahtless in thailand”. also i am most disappointed that you did not forward to the other lucky regular recipients of your emails a copy of the news article i so carefully crafted. i thought it was one of my best writing efforts to date. however i forgive you for having the good taste to ignore it.

finalmente a casa!

More from Irwin:

it’s going to start raining soon. i’ve taken two walks, driven to the bank and back, and enjoyed an hour’s nap. i like to sleep. i do not feel any pain (emotional or physical) while catching forty winks. anyway it always seems to turn colder when rain is about to appear and then when it rains it feels warmer;maybe that’s because i have already turned the heat on.

i imagine you have some type of heating system on world cup and then again since it’s in a tropical climate maybe all you need on a rare chilly night is a cotton blanket and a spicy bowl of hot fish ball soup. baring cost, i imagine that solar panels would serve you quite well as an energy source for generating electricity and subsequent warmth or coolness; then again, a burmese waving a fan might suffice. by the way, i have been thinking (always dangerous) about something to occupy your time: how about writing a musical taking advantage of the phrase (bahtless in bangkok). since you can’t speak thai compose it in english and maybe it will be a hit at the filmore (sp?) in san fran.

there is nothing new here in america of which to write, at least not any news which would serve either as an inspiration or warning. i don’t pay any thoughtful attention but notice as i pass by the tv set that health care is still at issue and stuff like that which leaves me cold as one never has enough information to make a judgment about what position to take on today’s political concerns. i have very much stayed out of any emotional involvement in government except perhaps a morbid desire to hear about a political figure(s)/party(ies) failing on some particular effort of theirs. their smugness infuriates me. i am in my vote “no” period although i can be sympathetic to ballot measures for high-speed rail and almost any anti-environmental endeavor. i would vote for legalizing prostitution should that be placed upon the ballot however now that we have given women the right to vote i doubt that they will cast their ballot in their best self interest.

today is the anniversary of johnny cash’s birthday. walk the line!


Joe’s email to Nikki:

I have not heard from you in a while. You had mentioned that you would be in New York on the 23rd and that you would try to get to Chiang Mai soon thereafter. What is your schedule now? Try not to come through Bangkok on the 26th or 27th of February as there may be riots following the Court’s decision about Taksin.

As for what has been happening here. Hayden seems to be doing fine. He misses you and looks forward to seeing you.

I have had little contact with Natalie. She usually calls the maid in odrer to speak to Hayden. I had to replace the battery in the car. Natalie forgot to check the water level in the battery and in was bone dry and dead.

Hayden, who is standing next to me want to send you this message, “po-po head” and “I love Nikki”


Nikki’s response:

Back in Italy now i was suppose to come earlier but one plane was damaged in rome during the refueling so my flite was delayed and screws up everything we had a full load of paxs waiting and nervous about it not good publicity for alitalia but finally we managed to leave kennedy airport at around 2 in the nite imagine the mess and the complaints so i had to do one of my famous and best greasy landing to please them.
In the arrival we had be on hold on the ground because the police have to arrest a couple of DONS just in time
They were flying first class and nobody knows about they look very nice and elegant brooklin style u know what i mean probabily from palermo or corleone
Only in italy this stuff could happen
well i don’t have my schedule yet but ill try to visit the baby for his birthday in march let me check first how is the turmoils in bkk i don’t want to be stucked there
He is still sleep alone by now?
i didn’t talk to her just messages requesting cash as usual
Stay safe with the baby there ill keep u posted

Joe’s follow-up:

Your NY flight adventure sounds like a movie plot. Too bad you visit to Thailand will be delayed. Hayden is looking forward to seeing you. He sleeps in his own room now, but ever since his trip to BKK he asks the maid to stay in the room until he falls asleep.

I do not answer Natalie’s calls anymore since I assume the only reason that she would want to talk to me is to ask for money and I do not have any to spare. On that note, I intercepted the Home Owners Association invoice. The fee is six hundred baht per month. She has not paid the bill for almost a year and we now owe over 12,000 baht. It is clear that whatever she uses the money she gets from us for, it is not for the Chiang Mai expenses.

Nikki’s response:

Now not only she is lying on the budget but she also not paying
HOLY SHIT that’s the word for this mess anyway try to talk to the manager and tell him we gonna pay soon maybe in 2 installment.
Do me a favour i lost track of how much and when we have to pay for Hayden school so talk to the principal and find out about it for good before she take over and rip me off some more cash and more lies
I can visit anytime depend on my next schedule so let u know hopefully soon
Keep me updated about the political situation and if there are problems in the airports
call me tomorrow with skype i want to see the boy best time is before u guys go to school
take care

Categories: January 2010 through March 2010 | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

This and that from re Thai r ment. February 14, 2010

Yesterday, I arrived at KL airport at about noon. The plane parked pretty far from passport control. That was to be expected since I flew on Air Asia a local budget airline. No more flying first class across the Atlantic of Pacific oceans and staying at hotels like the Hassler or the Oriental and the like. It’s strictly budget airlines and budget hotels (barely one step up from hostels) for me now.

It is especially difficult for me this month as it is often at this time of the month. I am waiting for my Social Security check that the government sends with annoyingly bureaucratic regularity every third Wednesday of the month. You would think they would now and then send it a bit early. But that’s government for you. They should have privatized Social Security a long time ago then my SS account could have had as much in it as my 401K, nothing. But I shouldn’t assume that just one screw up by the country’s banking elite indicates that it is a recurring problem, although its been happening with annoying regularity for 400 years now.

Take this morning for instance while I was waiting for my ride to the airport I noticed that it was quite chilly. Chilly in Thailand!! Another nail in the coffin of global warming. I was happy to see the sun rise however, having been scared witless by the Colbert Report that the darkness last night proved that the sun went out and we were sure to be all dead this morning. Dammit I promised not to do this anymore.

Anyway after a surprisingly long walk from the plane to passport control I was pleased that the passport control and customs process proved to be as efficient as I found anywhere. I paid $2.50 (the local currency is called Ringgit) for transportation from the airport into the city, expecting at that price to board a decrepit overcrowded shuttle bus for the 60 K ride into downtown KL. Instead, I boarded one of the most luxurious buses I have ever ridden

We arrived at the central bus station where I left the bus and found that public rail transportation was readily available. I took it to within a block of my seedy hotel. Along the way I was surprised that unlike Bangkok where they proliferate, there were no Arabs to be seen and that struck me as strange. Why did they go to Thailand a country that is at best ambivalent about Muslims and not to Malaysia a Muslim country? On the other hand why did we go into Iraq.. Oh almost did it again.

More about Malaysia later or tomorrow or never, I have just received bad news. Not only did I leave a day early unnecessarily but I just found out that the Thai Embassy is closed tomorrow because of Chinese New Year. The good news is that my return trip ticket is cheaper. The bad news is that I will have to spend more money on shelter and food and things like that. The good news is that my SS check should be deposited by the time I fly out. The bad news is that I feel like a god dammed idiot. Oh oh did I just say something that might get me in trouble here. Jesus Christ I hope not. Now I’ve done it. I think I will go hide under the bed.

No pictures of KL yet, thank whoever, but not to forgo the opportunity I have attached a photo of the swimming pool of the high school in World Club Land subdivision back in Chiang Mai that we are allowed to use after 3PM. That is Hayden in the foreground doing something strange to his nose.


Saturday, February 13, 2010 9 AM

Sitting on Air Asia flight AK 763 from Chiang Mai to Kuala Lumpur, seat 28 D. Hectic morning. Got up (Hayden insistence) at 6Am. Got ready and ate breakfast. of toast and coffee. Waited for Jerry. Picked up at 8AM. Told him that Hayden was going to BKK this morning and was to meet N.’s cousins at 10 AM for trip. J said no can do would have to bring Hayden back to airport after dropping Leo and mother off at school.

While going to gate N. called. Said I told you H’s flight at 10:10 AM, not meeting, he will miss flight, call Jerry, you screwed up, hung up. Tried to call Principal c/n get through. N. called said “ you almost caused him to miss his flight”. Called N. asked “Did that mean you contacted them”. Answered “Yes, I called the school”.

Last night, N. called, spoke with H. H cried “why can’t I go with Pookie. One way or another I will be on that flight”. H. went to bed in his room with Maid sleeping on floor. Series of phone calls. N. made arrangements for H. to fly with cousins to BKK tomorrow morning. Said H. to meet cousins at 10:10AM at One to Go counter.

Am on flight to KL now. Things not done: did not change baht to ringgits or whatever they’re called: did not check ATM to see if I have funds or if TG made deposit; do not know where Thai embassy located in KL; have no return ticket; unsure of transportation from AP into KL; more???

10 PM

Arrived at KL airport at about noon. The plane parked pretty far from passport control. That was to be expected since I flew on Air Asia a budget airline.

Anyway after a surprisingly long walk from the plane to passport control I was pleased that the passport control and customs process proved to be as efficient as I found anywhere. For $2.50, I boarded one of the most luxurious buses I have ever ridden for the 60 K ride into downtown KL. During my ride as I looked out my window at the at the built environment of the area, I found it to be one of the more pleasing and organized that I had ever seen. Not at all like the disorganized and dirty environment one finds in Bangkok and most cities. The road from the airport is new and efficient and lined with palm plantations and forests broken about every kilometer or so with a Mosque or an interestingly designed commercial building.

About one third of the way in they were construction a new town that looked fairly well planned to me. After about another third there was a second older new town, again that looked well organized and lacking dirtiness that Americans like me find so unaesthetic. Approaching the outskirts of KL, the city and its skyline was as dramatic and impressive as is San Francisco’s as you approach it from the Bay Bridge or New York for New Jersey. On the left of the skyline rises a sail like building similar to a hotel building in Dubai that for a while was billed as the most expensive hotel in the world. In the middle stands something that looks like Seattle’s Space Needle and on the right soar the twin towers, that used to be the tallest buildings in the world until a taller one was recently built and quickly abandoned also in Dubai. Looking at the twin towers It struck me how we could get back at them for the destruction of our twin twin towers (I know they’re Malaysians and not Saudi Arabians, but they are Muslims and aren’t they all the same). We would just open an abortion clinic in one of the Towers and free our home grown terrorists to get the job done. I know I know, I promised not to do it. I am incorrigible.

We arrived at the central bus station where I left the bus and found that public rail transportation was readily available. I took it to within a block of my seedy hotel. Along the way I was surprised that unlike Bangkok where they are as thick as flies on something gross, there were no Arabs and that struck me as strange. Why did they go to Thailand a country that is at best ambivalent about Muslims and not to Malaysia a Muslim country. On the other hand why did we go into Iraq.. Oh Oh almost did it again.

Again my American aesthetic was pleased by orderliness and absence of disrepair I found in the city. Actually the US built environment is probably one of the most disorganize and derelict built environments in the world. I have travelled by car across the country about 15 times and except for the actions of our government to preserve some of our scenic wonders, I found it in most part to be unrelieved dreck. So where did I and most Americans I know get this affection for the orderly and clean environment (and by clean I mean the appearance of cleanliness). I think that aesthetic that allows us to turn up our collective noses at the chaotic and dirty cities like Bangkok, Newark and Liverpool, comes from the habitations of our upper middle class. Places like in the Northeast like Bronxville as I remember it growing up, or Greenwich of current notoriety located in the middle of the Northeast forest and generally hidden from view. Did you know the Northeastern forest of today are as extensive as they were at the time of first contact? Go figure. It is a climax forest however.

Climax, I love that word. It describes not only what you think it does but you also have climax in novels, and civilizations and a whole host of things. Do you know what it means? It means the end is coming very soon.

In the mid Atlantic, Bethesda as I recall and the Williamsburg area where Ann lives and where I found joy with her and Al are those types of places. In Florida it is hard to find anywhere, I guess some of the Islands in Byscane Bay where we can gaze for our boats and the clean and orderly communities of the very rich. In Northern California we have places like Ross and Woodside and in Southern California we have Aliso Vallejo of which several of us are very familiar and Cappacola a mispronunciation that Southern Italian immigrants where I grew up mispronounce a Gabbagall, a tasty pressed meat that is my bit of humor on the pronunciation of Cota de Caza of Teamster Union fame.

This all led me to think about the putrid canals that criss-cross my subdivision in Chiang Mai choked with Hyacinth and water lilies. Unlike a Disney cartoon with the frog calmly sitting of the pad amid the beauty of the pond, some of these plants are brown and dying or dead while others are in various stages of flowering. It is not a climax environment. That’s what nature is about, the chaos of living and dyeing not the orderly beauty of my garden which is like all well tended gardens in a climax state. Turn your back for a moment and it returns to chaos.

How the hell did I get here? I was in Malaysia. Jesus Christ!

Oh shit I’ve done it now. They will be knocking on my door soon. I think I’ll hide under the bed. See you later.


From Irwin:

cuz – depression came early this morning. so i went for my walk. an unexpected change in weather arrived rapidly, from low 50’s yesterday to 79 today and i am expecting an earthquake as i firmly believe that when the temperature changes this much this fast that the ground will move and swallow us all up. further down the street two girls had set up what at first i thought from a distance was a lemonade stand however upon getting closer and not seeing any cooler containing a liquid i decided that maybe they were taking orders for girls scout cookies. i took no photo as we three were the only ones on the street at this early hour and i didn’t want to scare them being not far from the police station with its pervert squad. next i passed a woman with a grey headscarf that went down below her waist. she said, “good morning” and smiled. i suspect she was a practicing muslim but i can’t tell as they all look alike to me. if i pass her again i will say, “salaam alaikem” and see what happens. needless to say i did not take a photo as the grey outfit she was wearing was bulging around the waist and it’s possible she was a suicide bomber so i decided to play it safe. the farther i walked the warmer it got but i was all in one piece.

when i am depressed (when am i not? oh yes. when i hear from you!) i get sleepy so i sat down on a park bench and dozed off for i don’t know how long. i awoke to find a small dog tugging at my right pantleg. i thought maybe i was hallucinating or in a roman polanski movie but a lady walked up and grabbed the dog. i did not complain about the little tear marks in my pantleg as i figure i’m lucky my skin was not pierced and why let a good thing turn ugly in green valley, where ms. fountain valley has a wart on her nose.

the only photo i took this morning was of a wild cherry tomato plant growing in someone’s side yard facing the sidewalk. the photo appears below your previous message or you will have to view this vegetative miracle as an “attachment” for reasons known only to my email program which seems to be malfunctioning when it comes to adding pictures to my text. how the plant got there i don’t know. propagation is a funny thing. anyway i felt some strong symbolistic connection between the cherry tomato plant and myself (birdshit?) however any analytical conclusions will have to await the next time i see it.

tell us more about kl. your adventures to date are schematic to say the least. please provide more full-blown descriptions of important things like architecture, food and sex, not necessarily in that order. as to why there are muslims in thailand as opposed to kl, a muslim country, just look around and you’ll see why.

yesterday i decided to have some adventure and left the house. first i drove to a kaiser permanente facility in the city of irvine where man and nature both prosper and perhaps your former client lennar, someday. (about twenty minutes away). the facility was closed. its where my primarily care physician moved to and i have bought him a present which i wrapped myself and intended to deliver to the receptionist. why the present? i figured it might get me some attention and then i could complain without having to have an appointment. from there i went to wholesomechoice market which i enjoy as it has a great selection of most reasonably priced fresh quality produce as well food from all over the world including kosher meat (packaged) and hallal meat(unpackaged). most of the customers appear to be of persian extraction and there are always two or three drop-dead gorgeous women shoppers there at almost any time of the day. i bought a whole smoked whitefish, a can of spicy olives from the westbank, two sweet lemons, roma tomatoes, a red onion, 1/2 dz persian cucumbers, hummas, a bottle of grapeseed oil, a bottle of pomegranate molasses, and fresh out of the oven sarnak (sp?) which is a flat bread made out of whole wheat flower and about two and one half feet long wrapped in brown butcher paper. i almost bought some thai chili peppers but they were $3.29 a pound and when i asked a lady patron how to prepare them she said stir-fry and since i wasn’t cooking i opted out of that purchase – besides my intestines are just about in working order and i think that pepto bismo rather than thai peppers might be more kindly received. from there i went to the post office where i bought some postage stamps and mailed the package to the doctor. then i went to stater bros market and picked up some stuff for tomorrow when it is that my grandchildren are coming to spend the day’ i have no plans for them but there is always cartoons on tv except the girl is now almost eight and insists on watching all 1312 episodes of hannah montana.

i think colbert is right about the sun…just picked the wrong evening.

More from Irwin:

don’t know if you ever heard of kiva but its something i have been paying attention to for some time. i have two loans out (see below). kindly don’t tell my last wife; she wouldn’t understand considering i am always telling her i have no money. when i say “money” i mean extra thousands, not twenty-five dollars.

i thought this might interest you if you feel like doing something for other people who want to be entrepeneurs and are not just looking for a handout.

Maurice Obonyo Omanya in Kenya (Activity: Tailoring)
You Loaned: $25.00
Newly Repaid: $4.17
Total Repaid So Far: $8.34 (33.36% of your loan)
Repayment Status: Paying back on time
View loan profile at:
Daribazar Humbaan in Mongolia (Activity: Clothing Sales)
You Loaned: $25.00
Newly Repaid: $1.39
Total Repaid So Far: $1.39 (5.56% of your loan)
Repayment Status: Paying back on time
View loan profile at:

p.s. i guess i could visit mongolia and calim the trip as a tax deduction in terms of looking after an investment.

And even more from Irwin:

New Straits Times
Kuala Lumpur
February 18, 2010
Edition: Main/Lifestyle
Section: Main Section

Earlier today police were scouring the City searching for an American thought to be involved in the recent assassination of a Hamas agent in Dubai. As to what the purported criminal was doing in Malaysia nothing was revealed except for police acknowledgement of the finding of an incomplete passport application at the restaurant “Bon Ton” which is located on the ground floor of the Shopping Center in Julan Sulktan Ismail. The fugitive is a known frequenter of shopping malls.

It is alleged that the American is none other than Joseph Petrillo, former political operative and lobbyist of California, a western State in the USA, who disappeared from the city of San Francisco some weeks ago.

Acquaintances of Petrillo contacted by this newspaper expressed concern about not hearing from him for several days as well as disbelief in his possible involvement in the Dubai incident given his penchant for avoiding physical confrontations and pasta with red sauce. “I’m quite worried about “Cousin Joe” said family friend I R Schatzman , “if something has happened to him I’ll never get back the Dean Martin records I lent him and he also owes me ten bucks!”

Police continued their search this afternoon. Rumors have spread that he may now be in northern Thailand but he has not been yet spotted by Burmese trackers. Anyone with possible information about his location should contact Kuala Lumpur’s new Police Chief Zul Hasnan at any of the Tourist Police Stations 241-5522; 243-5522; 249-6590 .

And even more from Irwin:

well, they (see below) have only one place left to go….world cup! by the way where are you?? are you ill or wandering bahtless in chiang mai?

today i am attending a funeral. it’s for the sister of the only friend i have here who calls me to see how i am and if i want to go out to costco or for breakfast. even tho i knew the woman having seen her maybe fifteen times in her life, if it wasn’t him i wouldn’t venture to the memorial park on such a day – rain is imminent and my body aches, my nose runs, and a swarm of seagulls is circulating over the cul-de-sac; i think that is a sign of a storm coming or then again it could be that marge, the neighbor lady across the street who has outlived two husbands since we have been here, has spread some bread crumbs on the asphalt. i think it’s probably a combination of both given that it’s unlikely the gulls were on the beach seven miles away and suddenly felt that marge had done her beneficent best for the birds (almost an alliteration, not bad for 8:15 am on a sunday morning;but then again maybe the 1/2 xanax is kicking in).

tell me you are alive and that i can count on having two friends in the world. in the meantime i will brush what few teeth i have left (lost three for the radiation), take a shower, dress and prepare to drive up the 405 when all i really want to do is sleep, if i could, permanently.


Correspondence with Nikki:

The line was bad and we were breaking up so let me say something to clear any doubt
i gave her another 5000 bath for the beby needs dentist stayover friend and return ticket
she told me thet her account shows only 1000 bath
lie or true? who knows……
now this is the program get back with the baby and wait till the bills are coming see if this month we can get a clear situation about the budget now that we start the march month and so we finally can see how much is going to her and how much is going to chang mai
she want to handle the school fees telling me that we should not sign anything and her as a thai can get a bargain
I know is hard for u to handle that mess but u should clear once for good how much she need from u and that’s it make a deal and this is gonna be ur budget forever
me i am stucked with a 50000 thb a month even if some of that is going to her personally but what option i have? leaving her to shuttle the baby back or abandon him somewhere?
if u were in my pants what would u do?
is not a problem for me that money but i want to be able to see the baby regularly and provide a good school that’s all i want rigth now
as far as your planning is going make a dateline and come up with a decision to stay or leave.
i suggest u to wait till the end of march to decide anything drastically and see how things are going no need to rush
evrything is temporary with her nothing is sure is a crazy and strange situation and all i do is for the baby’s sake
good luck for ur visa and hope to come there soon to talk about

Categories: January 2010 through March 2010 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

This and that from re Thai r ment. February 12, 2010

I apologize my last post was misleading. I really do not know anything about flowers. I bought a book about flowers in Thailand to use with Hayden on our walks to and from school. You know, the kind with photographs of the flowers too blurred to identify and no scale so you do not know if it is a big or little flower. Anyway I liked the names, frangipani and golden trumpet so I put them in. I always thought frangipani was a type of candy and golden horn was what Sinatra played in one of his movies…or was it a golden arm he played with. I can’t remember. Anyway, yesterday I noticed that the Orchids in the garden bloom at different times. One day the lavender Orchids are in bloom and the plants on the other trees look dead. The next day the lavender plant looks dead, but the yellow-flowered orchid plant is in flower. Did you know that every evening Thoreau would leave his Walden Pond digs and walk back to his home in Concord for dinner?

Today’s first photograph shows the view looking back to the developer’s phallus and includes the totally useless security gate to the subdivision. It is one of three totally useless security gates in the subdivision. If fact one of the others stands right where I am taking the photo not twenty yards from the one you see. I don’t know why.

The second photo shows the last street to the school. The FCHS is on the right and on the left with their own bridge that they can use to avoid meeting the unwashed and unsaved.

Today I am going to get a shave at the local barber shop ($1.50) because tomorrow I am off to Kuala Lumpur to renew my visa and I want to look my best. I have never been to Malaysia before. I worry if I will be safe if I am circumcised. How would they know? Do they have those full body screens at the airport? Do you see the kind of stress I am under every day in paradise?

Thursday February 11, 2010 2PM

Tai, what to do about her. I so much need to get laid and I like the way I taught her to give me blow jobs, that every time I talk with her I want to be with her at that moment. I then try to think of ways to do that without upsetting my situation here. Am I a cad? You betcha.


From Irwin:

cuz joe – as a writer, be it unpublished, in my never ending search for experiences of which to put upon paper without getting my hebrew hands dirty, including but not necessarily limited to anglo-saxon depravity and doing things that seem to make an orange county lifestyle at issue (and even tho these activates may make no sense unless one is a follower of the blade runner projections on the future of our cities) i forward this slideshow email to you so that you may see exactly how it is that i, your remaining spirit in america, spent yesterday evening without a bong hit.

the first group of photos are taken at the southwest corner of the intersection of veteran avenue and wilshire boulevard in westwood and the following (which include moving pictures) were taken at the mayan theatre on hill street in downtown los angeles – i was able to successfully get to these places thanks to xanax and the fortuitous nature of the gods of the 405. for some technical reason, perhaps the lateness of the hour or the absence of absinth, i have not been able to just paste the photos herein. it’s little things like this that my friend, known affectionately as “the giant overby” and sometimes called “the big o” is want to say, “it’s the nature of things”.

since due to the whims of that woman who robbed you of your senses and property which then led to not having your garage face the street and thus deprived you of opening and operating the joe’s bank kok convenience store, i had another idea which i thought of last night when i saw some mexicans operating a small portable barbeque (brazier?) on hill street whereon they were cooking hot dogs wrapped in bacon (a no no in tel aviv but perhaps not in chaing mai) that were being purchased and devoured by tequila driven-just-leaving-the mayan theatre-patrons who had developed the munchies. you could do this on world cup! maybe even have a small fridge on wheels wherein to store popsicles tinged in ganja or whatever to tantalize the minds of those adolescent chirstian fundamentalist children you have written to me about. i’m not sure that hot dogs wrapped in bacon would be a good seller in that part of the world;however, i do suggest that it be something that could be popular without already being sold widely by local natives from burma.

in the event the web address below doesn’t work try pasting it into your browser.

From Ruth:

Malaysia: this could be the beginning of beautiful friendship. I remember when you had never been to Thailand before, and now look!

You want beautiful flower names? Read the Nero Wolfe stories–the orchids are always getting in there somewhere. I can’t spell any of the names though.

From Nikki:

I like these writings of yours if u got time to write means u are enjoing ur retirement plenty of time to think and relax.
ok now i need the maid phone number and also how to organize the pick up for hayden at the school.
She changed the password so i cant get no more info maybe some asshole warn her that somebody was messing her account she is no that smart in technology.
Anyway i know what i need it was a party on the 14th and she is involved in another date which come out with a strange name joush anh or whatever the fuck he is arab or libanese scum like that.
instead of remain to chang mai while u are gone she only care about her dates and business also asking me another load of cash fuck that
where are we going? eventually i am gonna to face her i can’t allow this shit forever in front of me and the baby or i can play indifferent and let her go to hell like she deserve
i dont hate people but when a devil cross my way i become a crusader
keep me update and take care of the boy

Joe’s Response:

The principal and Jerry have agreed to help out getting Hayden to school and things.

I agree that she is a bad person. We Have to figure out how to shelter Hayden from her. She hates the both of us now that we are on to her game.

From Nikki:

Stick with ur plan don’t get discourage from her she can’t kick u out after all the money u poured in that house u got the rigth to stay plus she is not going to sell the house soon anyway so ignore her treaths and diktat.
she is gettin nasty nobody likes her anymore she is just a quick fuck neither so attractive don’t forget she is pushing 43 years by now she is losin all that THAINESS that she had before also completely a failure as a mother i have a part of responsability in that i should be more resolute and strong bout her decisions but instead i was keeping spoiling her with money and trips thinking that finally she was a good mother but i am wrong.
In a mood of madness she can fuck everything up but she knows how much we love the kid and i don’t think she want to destroy another life runnin away with the baby.
The neiboroughs knows everything and stay away from her even PAT mother and the lady across the streets are avoiding her she is breakin one of the basic rule in thailand ABANDON her own child
Ask around and even the girlbar and prostitutes after work they are going see and feed teir own babies
YES SHE IS A BAD PERSON and don’t deserve our generosity and any help i am also disappointed about the family i never saw such a cold behaviour from the grandma and the sister nevercall or visit the baby what a shame
we got to protect and shelter the baby before is too late
niki stay in touch

Categories: January 2010 through March 2010, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

This and that from Thailand. February 4,2010

I thank all of you for your advice and counsel regarding my visa problems, especially the recommendation that I avoid speaking Hebrew in Malaysia.

My sister suggested that I change these posts to a blog. After some thought, I decided against that because if I did, then I would have to pay more attention to spelling and grammar. Spell-check is a pain.

Not much has occurred in my idyllic life here in my Thailand subdivision except that I found a pizza joint nearby that specializes in Thai-Italian fusion New York style pizza. Basically it is pizza with a lot of pepper.

Although I love my subdivision style life, I am considering moving for a while closer to the sea-shore. When Hayden’s semester ends he may return to the US for the vacation. In that case the suburban life no matter how idyllic will probably kill me with ennui.

Did I mention the feral cats?




From Ruth:

I am now thoroughly confused. I thought Hayden actually lives in Thailand, but then he wouldn’t be “returning” to the US. However, as long as you’re not confused, everything is no doubt okay.

Please don’t become a blog. It is fun to have your missives turn up in my email in-box. If you turn into a blog, I’ll have to go click on something and I’d rather not.
I haven’t heard this much from you in about 10 years, and I’m finding it all quite entertaining.

Can’t wait to hear how the visa processing turns out.

Be well,

Joe’s response:
Hayden lives wherever his mother drags him off to, sometimes in Thailand, sometimes in California and sometimes in Italy. That’s the problem. By moving here I am trying to get some stability in his life. You know, things like socialization with his peers, education and the like. Unfortunately his mother is considering returning to San Francisco for a while and taking him with her. If that happens, I will be off to the beach.

From Irwin:

dear joe –

it’s raining here in fountain valley, garden spot of the nation, and i have just turned down a lunch invitation. the weather description on my home (web) page reads “Current: Showers Wind: SE at 5 mph Humidity: 86%”. i don’t understand why the humidity is only “86%” and not 100% given i can see the water falling out of the sky into my backyard and being slurped up by the cushions on the chaise lounge on the patio. no one sits or lays on the furniture because it’s so old as to be disgusting in appearance, however my last wife insists that nothing be thrown away so the stuff stays there only used by felix the cat (we have no elephants or tigers here) on days when it’s not too unpleasant outdoors for felines; due to the precipitation i assume today is not one of those days.

i have just finished some sourdough toast and hot chocolate drink getting up late because it’s cleaning ladies day. for some reason every two weeks the cleaning ladies arrive at my house at 8:00 am forcing me to remain in bed with my door closed hoping that i don’t have to go to the bathroom. i figure that they are going to someone else’s house later in the day and have questioned why it is that i have to be subject to the early morning visits and not someone else but my questions and pleas are only met with stoic silence.

i have taken a liking to the rain although i am somewhat distressed by the spots on the living room ceiling. when it rains means i don’t have to feel guilty about not going outside or anywhere. furthermore everyone, don’t they? knows that rainy days are perfect for a nap! which is what i do everyday but take particular delight in doing on rainy days as i can use the excuse that its not just escapism that leads to the afternoon snooze but rather the patter of rain on the window sill. i have explained to physicians of some questionable professional excellence that when i am sleeping is the only time that i don’t feel shitty. when i tell them this they just look at me as if to say “duh”. when i arise it takes me about five minutes before my nose starts to run, my bowels turn and i fall apart. if i thought your prozac would work i’d take some, in fact maybe a whole bottle, but it won’t. for almost ten years imipramine did a fair job especially when it was combined with alcohol but then too it’s magical properties began to fade and when i decreased my alcoholic consumption and stopped working my body and mind once again began to show it’s fragility and exhibit what are generally referred to as symptoms of anxiety – although to tell you the truth i am no longer sure if it’s fear i’m fearing or just the idea of using the term to explain away the physical symptoms. i have been offered another antidepressant (zoloft) but have refused to take it unless the psychiatrist meets with me once a week to deal with what i assume are long seated emotional issues; unfortunately for me kaiser permanente does not offer such psychiatric services but rather relies upon treating the mentally ill with cognitive behavior therapy (which i have already taken in a group setting listening to ill-dressed or fat whining women complain about what a poor choice of a mate they made – this is not the stuff of my crises). i do admit a certain benefit to understanding cognitive therapy, although i despised the homework, but sometimes use what little i remember to correct my faulty thoughts.

i believe it’s nine questions one answers to determine if one is depressed and i usually nod affirmatively to at least seven; however, i know why i am depressed – i am unhappily married living in a vacant marriage, i have alienated my family, i haven’t lived up to my potential and feel guilty and worthless, i won’t let myself do anything to improve my life and finally i am in debt and not rich. i have to believe i will not receive a check from kaiser permanente to cover my physical wants like the trip from istanbul to venice on the orient express. anyway i’m on my own. in case of psychiatric emergency i can go to the nearest hospital but they will lock me in a room and that’s the last thing i need – i opt for a warm sandy beach with a pretty honey colored woman rubbing my back and scratching my head.

mostly i think it’s because i haven’t become anybody (the current expression i believe is, “i use to be somebody but now i am somebody else”). while i was busy making and spending money i fooled myself into believing i was somebody and would someday blossom into what i was meant to do – but what is that? i don’t seem to be good enough at anything. perhaps i could be a writer except, like you, i don’t like to use spell check and secondly i have nothing but drivel to write about and furthermore if there were grammar police i believe i would have already been arrested, convicted and hung. i once wanted to be in the theatre but i can’t memorize an alphabet yet alone lines from a script; besides jonny depp has made all of the movies i would have wanted to make except one. i took (opera) singing lessons and while my voice did improve i still can’t sing as well as some poor black kid who is going to be tomorrows no 1 on the hit parade. still i think i could have been a spokesman for the people. i don’t know that means politician, but i realized that i am not quick enough of wit to debate anyone let alone someone on fox news or msnbc and then again what “people” am i to be the spokesman for?! besides i don;t have an opriginal idea or thought in my head. so maybe i should settle on becoming a writer, but an unpublished one (it could happen) and maybe i won’t ever even write a book!

as for you, you have a wonderful opportunity with hayden. you can be the father you maybe never were but wanted to be with your now grown adult children. i envy you pal. go for it.

From Irwin:

joseph – i just got through listening to tosca on the internet radio station of which i informed you. it’s a little tough to take so early in the morning but it fits my mood and i especially like the music without even thinking about the storyline.

i hope i wasn’t too depressing in yesterday’s email to you; unfortunately i have no one with whom to share my woes and so i picked you defenseless as you may be some thousands of miles and electrons away.

it’s still raining but i’m running out of food, so i need to get to the bank, pay some bills and then there is always the saturday lotto ticket to buy before it gets dark.

if you are in kuala lumpur (sp?) i hope it’s a short stay and you are safe. i beleive that the words translate to “muddy confluence”. wikipedia notes that “Kuala Lumpur alone has 66 shopping malls and it is the retail and fashion hub for Malaysia” so maybe you can pick up some fashionable goods to flaunt next time you are back home and visiting the mall in chaing mai.

Categories: January 2010 through March 2010, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

This and that from Thailand. February 3, 2010

I have not written to you all in a while because of the bane and obsession of the ex-pat community everywhere, visas. I entered Thailand on a 30 day tourist visa intending to convert it to a retirement visa (one year renewable) during those thirty days, the most common method of obtaining the RV. Unfortunately, I did not know that the change of visas requires 21 days. I applied with only 19 days left on my original tourist visa and therefore they could not process it in Chiang Mai. Last weekend I flew to Bangkok because I was told that the 21 day rule did not apply there. All I got for my efforts was annoyed.

So now I have to leave the country briefly to renew my 30 day visa. Normally that would not be much of an issue. For years ex-pats on a tourist visa would take the bus to one of the borders, cross it and immediately return with an additional 30 day visa.

Unfortunately for me, a few years ago in the fervor of anti-immigration patriotism that rivaled the frenzy of the GOP on the subject, the Thais changed their immigration laws so that a land border crossing gets you only 15 more days while flying in and out remains as it was. I will leave it to you to contemplate the rational, effectiveness and consequences of the change.

Anyway, I am now making plans to fly to Kuala Lumpur Malaysia for a few days to renew the visa. Stay tuned.

I missed my jungle trip as a result of this travail. Hayden went with some friends anyway. Today’s photo shows him with a tiger cub.




January 29 2010.

I am on the Air Nok 10:45 flight to Don Muang airport BKK. I am going to see if Tai can arrange for my visa. I called this morning. She still has not gotten the information regarding the visa from her brother. This is the third day that it was supposed to be coming. That and the lack of response to my call to her this morning leads me to suspect that something else is going on. Maybe Natalie is right she is married to a policeman. After all, I have not been allowed to visit her apartment and she did not show up to the hotel as she promised the last time I was in BKK claiming the baby was sick and her phone was not working.

Last night I sat on the patio musing about how big a fool I have been with Natalie (and most women), believing what they say with my arrogant insecurities. I am doing the same with Tai as I did with her. Fuck, I am still an adolescent.

Spoke with Natalie. She accused me of going to BKK only to see the “bitch”. She prohibited me from visiting AVA because she did not want any “trouble” from her. I assured her I was coming to BKK only to resolve my visa problems and that if I cannot then I will have to go to Kuala Lumpur to renew my 30 day tourist visa. Am I any better than them? No, just not as good at it.

Cordt and Nikki are supposed to take Hayden to the Tiger Park and the other animal attractions outside of Chiang Mai. Cordt is to pick up Nikki at our house at 11 AM. As of 10:50 Nikki was still in the supermarket. Will Cordt wait for his return? Stay tuned.

Spoke with Anthony this morning. He told me Hiromi sold the dining room set to a used furniture dealer for only $300. Ann has the paintings and they will continue to try to sell them. They have almost paid for the car registration and insurance.

10:23 PM
I checked into the Swan Hotel near the river and across the street from the Haroon Mosque, near the Assumption School and church and the Oriental Hotel. The manager’s body oder made me gag. I could not help but think that at times I must smell like that. It embarrassed me.

Waited over an hour for Tai. Went to MacDonald’s in Robinson’s. Ordered a Big Mac meal. Tai said she was not hungry. She had put on about 20 pounds as a result of the pregnancy. On her it looked good. The conversation at lunch was strained and mostly concerned Natalie.

I returned to my hotel and she went to check on the baby. I was becoming furious because she had not responded to me with any affection. What did I expect? I had gone to Chiang Mai for Hayden and had put her and her child off.

I took a shower and then spent about a half an hour trying to kill a mosquito buzzing around the room with no success. Slept for about an hour and a half, through many bites from the damned insect. Woke up and saw him lying on the bed enormously engorged with my blood and unable to take flight. I swatted him and my blood splattered on the sheet.

Waited for Tai then went to the lobby and called her on my cell phone. She said her uncle would not return until Monday and I would not learn about my chance of obtaining the Marriage Visa. I was greatly annoyed by this since she had almost a week to find out and I had travelled all the way to BKK to hopefully process it.

She came to the hotel and we left for dinner. She was wearing the same things she had worn earlier, jeans and a T-shirt with writing on it most of which I could not make out because it was printed in faded light blue.

While waiting for a taxi a european woman was almost struck by a taxi as she ran across the street.

We went to the Good View Restaurant on the river and sat at an outside table located at the corner of the balcony in such a way that it felt as though we were sitting on the prow of a large ship.

We ordered. Mine was prawns stir fried in egg. I did not like the texture of the eggs and their color which was orange. I drank watermelon juice and switched to coke. Again we spoke mostly of Natalie and the conversation got so stilted that we stopped talking and stared over each others shoulder. I began to feel that the relationship was over.

In the cab as we rode back to the hotel, I resolved to tell her that the relationship was over and blame my self for it. I realized that I was feeling sorry for myself and only trying to generate an emotional commitment from her as would any other adolescent.

When we got to the hotel I said nothing an she led me back to my room. After some desultory conversation she lay on the bed and said that she had to go pick up the baby since she had left him with a friend. I was furious believing that she had a lover back at her apartment. I tried to say what I had thought of in the car. I did not get far as we embraced. She felt good. The extra weight made her both soft and firm. My dick hardened. I began to undress her. She said that the doctor told her she cold not have sex until he examined her incision again. Suspicion again. She told me to shower and said she will go and pick up the baby and return tomorrow. She promised to spend the night with me then since her auntie would return and be available to take care of the infant. I showed her my boner sticking up in my pants. She grabbed hold of it. It felt electric. We kissed and hugged some more and she got up from the bed and came around to my side and told me to undress for the shower so that she can leave. I did and my boner was as hard as it ever gets now. She asked for 1000 baht to pay the sitter. I gave her two. She stood there and leaned down and kissed me. Then she played with my cock. I wanted to cum. This went on until she pulled away saying if she stayed any longer she would not be able to leave. I got up and held her thinking if I go to Ke Sahn for a massage tomorrow would I still be able to get it up after the orgasm the Kesorn would elicit from me. She left and I took my shower and an now writing this.

3:00 AM
Cannot sleep, mosquitos. Lowered Temp. to 18C on theory mosquitoes do not like cold. Am lying in bed typing this waiting for room to chill eating a KitKat and drinking water

January 30, 2010

12:30 PM (Saturday)
Woke up showered, dressed and called Tai. Spoke for moments and phone went out called back many times.No answer. Suspected she was with a boyfriend.

Called Anthony, Hiromi gave most of my things away to charity.

Called Nikki,. No answer.

Went to Starbucks. Ordered caffe latte and croissant. Tried to connect with internet. Could mot because it required joining their system and then resisted all my attempts to do so.

Walked to Skytrain. Took it to NANA. Went back way to Ambassador and up to health club. Asked for Kesorn. Told she would not be in until 1PM. Left walked to Asia Books on Sukhumvit near Asoke. Saw new Hewson. Looked for a bird identification handbook. Could not find one. Decided not to buy. Left.

Natalie called. Did not answer.

Tai called. Answered. She explained phone was out of order. Agreed to meet up later.

Called Nikki. He found a barber and other shops across from school. He also found out from maid info on electric bills and HOA fees. Said I could not access internet for research on Laos and Cambodia visa requirements. He said he would do so. Asked me to say hello to Ke Sahn for him. Agreed to pick me up at airport tomorrow morning. Returned to Ambassador. Drank a pepsi float. Wrote this and went upstairs to health club.

Waited for Kesorn. She acted very excited to see me. She was still in her street clothes. She grabbed me by the hand and dragged me to the massage room. Hugged and kissed me. She started the shower for me and helped me into the tub and left. I showered, dried off and laid down in the massage table to wait for her to return. She came back with her massage oils and uniform. She stripped off her clothes and got into the tub to shower. Finished. Stepped out. Put on only her bra and tights. “No one will see”, she said. She then leaned over me and kissed me long and hard. Then I turned over and she began with her deft strokes on my back working slowly down my back to my buttocks where she she concentrated for quite a while first with feather like strokes of my asshole followed by stronger strokes. Then my dick and balls were oiled and stroked. Sometimes both my asshole and dick were worked at the same time. I began to moan and I felt the exquisite rising of my cum. This went on for a while and then she went on with the massage of my legs and feet. I turned over. She oiled my dick and began working on it. She bent over and began sucking on it as I moaned with the rising implacable orgasm. Again and again I came. Then it was over and she washed me off and dried me and finished the massage as I drifted in and out of sleep. After, I invited her to Chiang Mai where she had been before. She gave me her number and said she would take the train. I paid and left.

Got on the Skytrain and spoke with Nikki on the cell. He said Natalie had called him asking if I were back yet. He said I was still working on my visa. I guess so.

Tai called. said she had not found a baby sitter, but hoped she could join me for dinner.

Returned to hotel. Ate Pad Thai and drank a watermelon juice. Went to my room then sat outside, lit up my cigar, watched the overweight tourists mostly women sunning themselves by the pool and wrote this.

9:30 PM
Just returned from dinner with Tai and some of her family. She called me before dinner, said, “come down to the lobby my uncle and brother are going to dinner with us”. I thought they were preparing to execute me for marrying and not supporting Tai. I probably thought this because they are Muslim and my conscience was not clear.

Instead I was met with the Auntie with Tai’s baby, Tai’s sister-in-law with her two year old, Tai’s female cousin who works in the Chinese Embassy or some such. Went to a fish place, ate, drank coke and had a chocolate sundae. While ordering I was over-conscious of their being muslim and did not order beer or pork. The men arrived later. I slipped Tai 2000 baht to pay for dinner (there were seven adults and two children and a baby). The bill came to about $8 per adult.

Decided to prepare budget for Tai.

I am now back in hotel waiting for her.

January 31 2010.

Sunday 8AM
She did not show up nor call. Once again I am the fool. When I was a child when asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I usually answered, “a bum and a clown”. It looks like I will get my wish. When the Chiang Mai house is sold I will be a bum and I have more and more become Emmet Kelly. I am now at the airport waiting for the plane that will return me to..what?

February 2 2010

Tuesday 5PM
Well she called eventually that day. Said she fell asleep with the baby and woke up at two in the morning and did not want to wake me up by calling. Do you believe it?

Anyway got back to CM, took a nap and saw Nikki off to the airport.

On Monday morning Hayden wanted to take his bicycle to school. After a few blocks he asked me to bring the bike home with me after getting to school. Told him could not. He then wanted to bring the bike back to the house we did and drove to school. Got a shave, 50 baht. Gave 50 baht tip.

Tried to buy tickets to KL. Debt card not accepted.

Used Skype to talk with Nikki.

This morning Hayden decided he did not want to shower and made the maid and I chase him around the yard laughing. Caught him, carried him up the stairs to BR

After shower and dress, drove to school.

Drove to US consulate. Broke my left side mirror as I passed too close to someone on a motor bike going the other way. Do not know if I struck him or he struck me with his hand for getting too close.

Parked across river from Consulate, ealked, experienced security, entered the inner sanctum, got my notarized document and fled.

Went to Central, parked waited in Starbucks for mall to open, went to ATM, denied. Drove home in panic. Called BOW straitened things out. Natalie called said she was coming up while I went to KL. Thought about this called Tom arranged for additional 7 days on current visa. Picked up Hayden, drove to Big C, got 5000 baht from ATM, ate donuts. Returned home called Natalie, said I was not going to KL until next week. Suggested she did not need to come to CM. She agreed.

Called Tai told her to try again to get visa in BKK.


From Irwin:

joe – it seems more than somewhat ironic that a person such as you who spent years dealing with, manipulating and often overcoming stringent government bureacracy and regulations to find yourself having to sojourn for 1/2 week in parasitic filled malaysia due to a visa screw up – not a place i would want to visit right now; come to think of it i don’t visit anywhere at the moment, i am in my isolation period having cancelled all my luncheon appointments with relatives (one) and former collegue political operatives (three) and worrying about not cancelling a date previously planned for next week with my younger son (one) to attend mexican wrestling (“sexo y violencia”) at the mayan theatre in downtown los angeles. speaking of “younger son”, hayden appears to be a good looking young chap obviously resembling the good looks of his mother and probably doesn’t even care for scampi.. please take extra precaution while in kuala lumpur remembering not to speak hebrew or to stare in people’s eyes, particularly those wearing turbans and the like.

although i am in isolation, i still take my daily walk. on it i pass two churches. today’s photo is the more curious of the two. the building does not have any windows. i’m not sure if it’s to keep their god in or out.

take care!

Joe’s response:
Irwin, you may be remembering me from the days before my psychiatrist put me on Prozac. Since then I have been happy but worthless in any professional or personal endeavor that requires any amount of aggressiveness or cynicism. The choice was retire or quit prozac. I tried going cold turkey and found out what that means.

Categories: January 2010 through March 2010 | Tags: , | Leave a comment

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